Yankees goin' South

thrillbilly · 11-20-2009, 02:19 AM

Northerners Moving South

If you are planning on visiting or moving to the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles: The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes. The South has 'mater samiches.
The North has coffee houses. The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services. The South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives. The South has Lee Press-on Nails.
The North has double last names. The South has double first names.
The North has Ted Kennedy. The South has Jesse Helms.
The North has an ambulance. The South has an amalance.
The North has Indy car races. The South has stock car races.
The North has Cream of Wheat. The South has grits.
The North has green salads. The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters. The South has crawdads.
The North has the rust belt. The South has the Bible Belt.
AND
If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.... Don't buy food at this store.
Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all yawl's" is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "You isn't from round here, are yaw?" You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Y'all ought not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.
The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or "big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killing" is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the middle of the road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John Deere, and that is the proper speed and position for that vehicle.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

Robertm · 11-20-2009, 05:14 AM

Thrilbilly, you've really started my day off with a bang. Thanks

CalifgirlinOk · 11-20-2009, 05:23 AM

Good one thrillbilly...lol

Mooseman684 · 11-20-2009, 05:28 AM

A northern girl says "You May"...
A Southern Gal says "Ya'll May"...

LOL

White Rook · 11-20-2009, 06:04 AM

I like it. Especially the part "He needed Killing". We may need to borrow that saying up here in Northern states in some circumstances.

DogRomeo · 11-20-2009, 07:47 AM

How about when I mobilized with a bunch of guys from NC & WV everybody calls other people "cuz", "ol' boy" & "bo".
For example:
"Hey cuz, you seen ol' boy?"
"Sheeeeeeyit bo, he done got lost 'round billy lee's farm"

DR

Gray Wolf · 11-20-2009, 09:18 PM

Yankees have Boston baked beans, in the South, we have red beans and rice.

Cyrano · 11-21-2009, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gray Wolf

Yankees have Boston baked beans, in the South, we have red beans and rice.

No, Southerners have chili with beans - if they's heretics. Beans don't belong in chili.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mooseman684

A northern girl says "You May"...

A Southern Gal says "Ya'll May"...

LOL

Funny... if it gets that far, I thought a properly brought up Southern Gal says, "Please..."

And if there's the slightest accumulation of snow, y'all will be able to spot the transplanted Yankees real easy. They's the ones whose cars and pickups are still on the road while those of the good ol' boys be indulgin' in an orgy of ditch-divin' and tree-kissin'.

SwedeSteve · 11-22-2009, 05:50 AM

It got er done thrillbilly !! Thanks for the good laugh.

11-20-2009, 02:19 AM	#1
thrillbilly Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Ozark Hill Country Posts: 3,184	Yankees goin' South Northerners Moving South If you are planning on visiting or moving to the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles: The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes. The South has 'mater samiches. The North has coffee houses. The South has Waffle Houses. The North has dating services. The South has family reunions. The North has switchblade knives. The South has Lee Press-on Nails. The North has double last names. The South has double first names. The North has Ted Kennedy. The South has Jesse Helms. The North has an ambulance. The South has an amalance. The North has Indy car races. The South has stock car races. The North has Cream of Wheat. The South has grits. The North has green salads. The South has collard greens. The North has lobsters. The South has crawdads. The North has the rust belt. The South has the Bible Belt. AND If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.... Don't buy food at this store. Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all yawl's" is plural possessive. Get used to hearing "You isn't from round here, are yaw?" You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Y'all ought not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!" Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or "big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper. Be advised that "He needed killing" is a valid defense here. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there. When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the middle of the road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John Deere, and that is the proper speed and position for that vehicle. Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. __________________ *" I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on."* John Wayne

11-20-2009, 05:23 AM	#3
CalifgirlinOk Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 8,711	Good one thrillbilly...lol __________________ I got into a fist fight with breast cancer and I won.

11-20-2009, 05:28 AM	#4
Mooseman684 Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Alaska Wilderness. Unit 13 Posts: 12,782	A northern girl says "You May"... A Southern Gal says "Ya'll May"... LOL __________________ You know you might be facing your doom,when all you get is a click when you're expecting a BOOM!

11-20-2009, 06:04 AM	#5
White Rook Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: South West Ohio Posts: 2,311	I like it. Especially the part "He needed Killing". We may need to borrow that saying up here in Northern states in some circumstances. __________________ USAF SSgt 80-86 IN GOD WE TRUST NRA MEMBER

11-20-2009, 07:47 AM	#6
DogRomeo Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & Baghdad, Iraq Posts: 47	How about when I mobilized with a bunch of guys from NC & WV everybody calls other people "cuz", "ol' boy" & "bo". For example: "Hey cuz, you seen ol' boy?" "Sheeeeeeyit bo, he done got lost 'round billy lee's farm" DR __________________ Never settle, always strive. 1 who fears death cannot enjoy life. Regret is worse than fear.

11-20-2009, 05:14 AM	#2
Robertm Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Kennesaw, GA Posts: 154	Thrilbilly, you've really started my day off with a bang. Thanks

11-20-2009, 09:18 PM	#7
Gray Wolf Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 283	Yankees have Boston baked beans, in the South, we have red beans and rice.

11-22-2009, 05:50 AM	#9
SwedeSteve Suspected Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Anchortown, Alaska Posts: 26,432	It got er done thrillbilly !! Thanks for the good laugh. __________________ In the absence of orders, ATTACK !!