Top 34 Ways To Tell Your Company's HR Department Is Evil

[Doglips]

Top 34 Ways To Tell Your Company's HR Department Is Evil
By The Analyst

Rank:
1) The guy in charge of HR is named Lou Cifer
2) Pentagram on HR Letterhead
3) Overheard one say to the other, "I must find a more suitable host body!"
4) If you work less than 60 hrs a week, you're not a "team player"
5) Will grant you one vacation day in exchange for your soul
6) Those machines that emit sounds to drive off rats also work on the HR dept.
7) Their Extension is '666'
8) A** kissing is considered a core skill
9) $6.66/hour may be above minimum wage, but still ...
10) #1: Your company has a HR department
11) they use PeopleSoft
12) Department located in the crater of an extinct volcano
13) Your paycheck is signed by satan
14) 5 years and we're out! is the executive team's mantra
15) Your CEO tells the recruiters, "No Fat Chicks"
16) They fire you because you're the wrong kind of black
17) It is run by Catbert
18) Pea soup spray on the cubicle walls
19) It's those demonic voices.
20) Your Mother-in-law works there.
21) The director's name is Catbert and looks uncannily cartoonish
22) They ask you, "Do you have stairs at your house?"
23) Run by the same people who run North Korea.
24) FMLA is a four letter word
25) The VP forces you to attend parties at her mini-mansion
26) You work for a national pizza chain named after a game
27) You dont even know what an HR department is
28) A sighn that says "abandon all faith ye who enter here"
29) Headed up by Evil Burt
30) You're expected to be grateful you get to work there
31) The sign that says "HR Department"
32) The Old Boys Club posts their meeting notes on the intranet
33) There are "different rules for different people"
34) After your co-worker pissed them off he never came back to work truly himself