[Sniper[MI]]

More useless drivel about the Oh so Important "beautiful People"

I hope they all sh*t themselves.
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War party: Debating Iraq at Ozzy's





Elizabeth Taylor and Justin Timberlake were the guests of honor at a benefit Elton John gave with Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne Wednesday night in L.A.
But the names of two other well-known people were on everybody's lips: Bush and Saddam.

"We all discussed whether to move forward with this event tonight," Sharon told the crowd, which had gathered in the garden of her Beverly Hills home to support Elton's AIDS foundation and her own colon-cancer charity.

"We decided to continue because, war or no war, we are all fighting the war against AIDS and cancer," she went on. "At the same time, we should all say a big prayer for the American and British men and women who are risking their lives."

Taylor, who got a twinkly pinky ring from Elton, had to leave early because of a stomach virus - but not before saying exactly what she thought of the war.

"The thought sickens me beyond belief," she told us. "I was a refugee when I came to this country because of World War II. I listened to the radio all the time and thought, 'Why don't the Americans do something?' Now I think, 'What the [bleep] are the Americans doing by saying [to Saddam], 'Pack up your bags, mount a camel and get out of town!' What if someone said that to Bush?

"You don't think [terrorists] are going to retaliate? You don't think they're going to bomb the s--- out of us? It's going to be terrifying."

Tony Bennett, who performed, also recalled "the horror" he saw as an infantryman in WWII.

"That was a good war - it had to be done," he told us. "This isn't a good war. If the whole army isn't together, we're not going to win. I'm hurt by what's happening in this country."

Sly Stallone, there with wife Jennifer Flavin, showed none of Rambo's enthusiasm for battle.

"I've been on the fence about it," he said. "It's the first time America has gone after someone as a protective move. But I believe we have righteousness on our side."

Elton, who sported a diamond peace symbol on his lapel, said, "I'm not for the war. I love America. [But] you can't say you're against the war without being called a traitor. Now that the decision has been made, we have to hope that it will be quick."

Sharon Osbourne, feeling weak from a chemotherapy treatment, almost didn't make it down from her bedroom to mingle with the guests.

"I told her if she comes down those stairs, I'm going to chase her back up," Elton said.

She defied him, looking fantastic in a low-cut black gown.

"Sharon, I [bleeping] adore you," said Elton, forgiving her. He even confided that "My drag name is Sharon. So you get two Sharons for the price of one."

Nice 'View'

Chris Martin still gets weak when he thinks about the stewardess hot pants his girlfriend, Gwyneth Paltrow, wears in her new retro comedy, "View From the Top."

"Those shorts, man - I've got to tell you, those were some small shorts!" the Coldplay singer says. "I was so scared of those shorts!"

Presumably, Paltrow's co-star Mike Myers behaved.

Paltrow showed no fear during her babe brawl with Christina Applegate. "It was simple," says Applegate.

"Gwyneth and I literally beat the crap out of each other."

The flick, which opens today, had a sneak preview last night at Loews 19th St., with flight attendants from the new Song Airlines handing out popcorn and pillows to the audience.

Tricky business

So much for the supposed feuding between "Chicago's" director, Rob Marshall, and its executive producer, Harvey Weinstein. On Wednesday night, the choreographer-turned-filmmaker lured the Miramax honcho to a house in L.A. with the fib that he wanted to show him the dance number he'd choreographed for the Oscar ceremony.

Weinstein walked in to shouts of "Surprise!" from Renee Zellweger and the rest of the "Chicago" cast, plus pals including Barbra Streisand. It was Weinstein's 51st birthday.

A win for Bartiromo

CNBC's Maria Bartiromo can relax now that a man by the name of Tefera Demise was convicted yesterday in Manhattan Supreme Court of harassing the reporter and of criminal contempt. Demise had been serving time in New York's Fishkill Correctional Facility for stalking Bartiromo when he called her at the New York Stock Exchange from jail in September 2001, violating court orders. He was indicted last March and went to trial this week, reports The News' Barbara Ross. Demise, who remains in prison, will be sentenced on April 3.

Friend of a friend

Casey Kasem's hunky son Mike has found love with a close pal of Britney Spears.

But U.K. papers have falsely linked the square-jawed younger Kasem with Spears herself, since they're often seen together.

Spears' rep tells us, "Mike is dating a close friend of Britney's. They hang out together all the time."

Best original pitch

Stressed-out stars are being offered herbal Prozac to calm their jitters. A Hicksville, L.I., company has sent Oscar nominees bottles of something called Rhodax. Described as "an all-natural pill similar to Valium and Prozac," it promises "positive support for mild mood changes."

Knowing Hollywood stars, they probably would swallow unsolicited pills they receive in the mail.

Jersey girls

Since Mariah Carey made an unforgettable appearance at the NBA All-Star tribute to Michael Jordan last month in a Washington Wizards jersey-turned-gown bearing the number 23, the NBA Store on Fifth Ave. has received more than 100 requests for girls who want one for the prom.

Trouble is, Mariah's was one of a kind. The girls will have to be satisfied with the shop's NBA minidress.

Gray area

Oscar nominee Paul Newman knows how to milk a disability. "I'm partially color-blind," the "Road to Perdition" star tells Webster Hall curator Baird Jones. "I can't see red at all, but I can sort of see blues and yellows. I always figured I could at least get to run a few red lights, since my condition is listed on the back of my license. But every time I tried that trick and got pulled over, the cop always ticketed me anyway. I never managed to beat a single ticket."


With Suzanne Rozdeba and Ben Widdicombe

[whirlwind]

i'd love to know where these freaks come from? it seems they have no concept of reality! sheesh!