Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell,
Cher, Phil Donahue, David Gephin, Barbara Streisand,
Jane Fonda, Pierre Salinger, and anyone else who made that promise,
please dispose of all US assets and report to
Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise,
"Elation," which has been commissioned
to take you to your new vacation homes
You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq.
The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor
a Farewell Parade in your honor
through Palm Beach, Broward,
and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.
Please pack for an extended stay...
at least four years and you should consider
the possibility of eight years.
Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.
Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain,
Al Gore as cruise director,
Monica Lewinsky as recreation director,
Ted Kennedy as lifeguard
and emergency procedures director,
Congressman Gary Condit as intern coordinator.
If you have any questions about making arrangements
for your homes, friends and loved ones,
please direct your comments to
Senator Hillary Clinton.
Her village can raise your children while you're gone,
and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings
until you return.
Is this a great country or what!?
This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine