[Oxford]

If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those responsible for killing
thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington, D.C. But, I'm over 50
now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be
older than 35 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing ***-backwards. Instead of sending 18- year-olds off to fight,
they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35.
For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think
about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more that 28,000 additional seconds per
day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous
soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission. "My back hurts!"
"I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at
least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed
126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a
backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up early (to pee). If old
guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably forget where we
put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and
yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for
guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't
see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups
after training. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er ... one."

And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to actually
carry on a conversation, to wear pants without the top of the butt crack showing and the
boxer shorts sticking out.

To learn that a pierced tongue catches food particles. And that a 200-watt speaker in
the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All great reasons to keep our
sons at home and to learn a little more about life before sending them off to a possible
death.

Let us old guys track down those dirty, rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on
September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of
million old farts with attitudes.


:nod:

[7mmag6]

Nice post Ox hell ill volunteer, but there better be maalox and a good fiber laxative available every night, hell i dont need a gun i can bore them into submission with old soldier tales, and a bullhorn, take that, ill hump that hog but just for a few yards untill my dogs start barking, then its time for a nap, if captured ill complain about my asthma until they are compliant, if that doesnt work ill start my "why in my day we used to go to war barefoot, and with only a whammo sling shot, bunch of spoiled whippersnappers-- dont appreciate nothing, when they are sleeping from the constant barrage of complaining ill make my escape, but there better be a nice leather equipped lincoln navigator waiting otherwise im not going

[Dallas]

Reading this triggered a menory of a conversation I had with several other vets when we went into Afghanistan. All of us had served in combat arms. Some saw combat, some served in peace time. But when the shooting started we ALL had a feeling that we should be over there doing something, we're all over 40, most over 50, but the pull of service was there. We could have driven trucks, pushed pencils, been door gunners, anything. It's wierd, all these years gone by and the training and the desire to get at the enemy is still there.

[Oxford]

Dallas:

To be serious about the situation, there's no doubt that when the action starts there's a strong urge to do one's part again. Real patriotism comes out in times like that. My hat is off to you and other veterans who have done so much for our country. I owe you more gratitude than I can express. Our country wouldn't be what it is today without what you've done for us.
------------

7mmag7:

In a more light vein, however,...the urge by geezers is still there but it could have been caused by another stimuli resulting from taking laxatives.

I almost laughed my guts out while reading your comments. Wellllllll! it all sounded like a good idea till read your comments.(ha)

Maybe I was just a'dream'in & a'wish'in. To save weight could I carry my lightweight 22 instead of the rest of the heavy gear? And...wake me up about 8:30 each day when breakfast is ready. And please keep the rocket noise down after 8 p.m. when I crawl in my fox hole where there is a pre-heated blanket, foam padded place waiting for my long snooze for another tough day. Of course, for long treks send me a humvee and I'll meet you at a safe distance back, approximately 20 miles, after the area is secure.

Could be I'm just not quite ready for the real army yet.

Ox :nod:

[DANA]

HELP ME INTO THE COCKPIT AND I CAN STILL DO MY JOB.

DANA

[Doglips]

You forgot to mentoion that most of us "old" guy's on this board have enough rifles and ammo to supply at least a platoon So we would save the goverment $$

[Dallas]

Oxford, thanks for the comments. But I personally was one of those guys who served in peacetime. I don't put myself in the same category as a combat vet. I usually refer to myself as prior service, not a vet.

[Oxford]

Dallas:

From my viewpoint peacetime military service still represents a major personal sacrifice which deserves to be acknowledged by all Americans.

It's not your fault peace happened to exist at the time you were doing military service representing the rest of us Americans. That was still important duty for the welfare us civilians. Any way I look at it that's something to be proud of.

Ox :nod:

[NRAJOE]

Do they make "Depends" in camoflage!!!???

[NRAJOE]

Quote:      

Originally posted by Dallas Oxford, thanks for the comments. But I personally was one of those guys who served in peacetime. I don't put myself in the same category as a combat vet. I usually refer to myself as prior service, not a vet.

Don't think that way Dallas, I to served during peacetime...1976-79 U.S. Army Combat Engineers, which I voluntarily signed up for. I consider myself a Vet! If war had broke out during that time I would have gone proudly and would have fought with my brothers til I died! I joined AMVETS two years ago because they take ALL Vets who served in wartime and peacetime!

[7mmag6]

like ox said vets just happened to be there when a war started(or drafted like me), you should thank your lucky stars you werent in the sh-it, just bieng in the service says you were ready and willing to do your part, and I salute you, as does all america, ill bet Dana could still fly just about anything, people if you want a living hero Dana is one, if anyone puts that h word about me ill get really mad, it seems everyone is a hero nowadays you know the cliche the real heroes are buried 6 feet under, and that about sums it up

[7mmag6]

also im not a member of the vfw or american legion, or amvets, or any thing, ive had enough, just AARP

[Big Dog]

Every so often, I have a dream in which I somehow get back into the service. Often I'm back on my old ship. Great dream.
But on awakening, I realize it's true what the man said long ago - "War is a young man's game".
Still, it's hard to take the 'race' out of the racehorse, after he's been put out to pasture.

[NRAJOE]

Quote:      

Originally posted by 7mmag6 also im not a member of the vfw or american legion, or amvets, or any thing, ive had enough, just AARP

AARP is ANTI-GUN!

[7mmag6]

I did not know that joe, I better pay more attention, I just use it to get discounts, ill take a better look

[NRAJOE]

AARP has given money to anti-gun causes...I don't think alot of elderly people know that. My dad is 90 yrs old and didn't join because of that! :right: