We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had said they would leave the country if George W. Bush became President. Still others have expressed discontent with his handling of foreign affairs, the economy, and the war on terrorism. Some have gone so far as to say "they were ashamed to be Americans".
Surely anyone so disillusioned and unhappy with our country would not wish
to remain. With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who want
to "go their own way"!
Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell, Cher, Phil Donahue, David
Gephin, Barbara Streisand, Pierre Salinger, The Dixie Chicks, and anyone
else who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets and report to
Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation," which has been
commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan.
You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq. ( All are lovely ports
of call - Just keep your head down )
The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor the "Kiss my dimpled chad" Farewell
Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward and Miami-Dade counties
prior to your cruise.
Please pack for an extended stay... at least four years and you should
consider the possibility of eight years. If you last that long, you may
wish to consider permanent residence.
Note: Since you all advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.
Staffing your voyage is Captain Bill Clinton, Al Gore as Cruise Director,
Monica Lewinsky as Recreation / Activities Director, (her cabin is located
right next to the Cigar Lounge) Ted Kennedy as Lifeguard and Emergency
Procedures Director, and Congressman Gary Condit as Intern Coordinator.
If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends
and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton.
Her "Village" can raise your children while you're gone, and she can watch
over all your money and your furnishings until you return.
The rest of us would come along, but we're committed to remaining behind to
support our President and our country.
Is this a great country or what?