Sounds like you need a vacation.
Transporting corpses & the soon-to-be corpses will drain you.
Most folks don't know that old folks about to croak or already croaked make up 80%-plus of ambu transports
Best thing to do, tell your boss that you are burnt out and afraid of making a bad mistake and take a week off,
go to Lawrenceburg, TN (an hour & a half south), stay at the Davy Crockett state park and FISH & HIKE & SWIM, and generally goof off.
Do NOTHING for awhile...sit in the shade and RELAX...have a few Jack Daniels & Dr. Pepper's.
Drink a SunDrop or ten
If ya ain't hitched, finda wench and make the camper bounce.
If ya are hitched, treat your wife like a newlywed
Spend some time in prayer in the beauty of the woods.
I've done 21 years as a volunteer firefighter...the reason I didn't go career was that I KNEW that sometimes I needed to get away from it for a few weeks.
Sometimes the blood is just too much...seeing a child hurt is just too much...seeing friends mangled in car/motorcycle crashes is just too much...
and you have to go Reset yourself and your brain...then you can enjoy it again.
The really weird thing...sometimes, near the end of vacation, something happens to remind you why you chose the path of rescue.
You'll be relaxing on a raft, and see a kid starting to drown...and you'll be the only one who can get to 'em fast & knows how to pull 'em out
and get them breathing again. Or you'll see a camper screw up and toss gas on a fire and themselves...or someone gets snakebit by a cottonmouth,,,
or impales themselves with a branch/fencepost while jogging/biking/rockclimbing...
It all varies...but the bottom line will be that you'll know what to do and you LIKE doing it when it really counts.
Its the curse of being a perpetual Boy Scout...you have to LOVE people and love helping them when they need it the most.
Sometimes, we need to remember what it is about the job that we love so we can continue to do it.
IF you want a change inside your career that is more heartening...transfer to the NICU Transport Unit...
LOTS of hope there, and it is beautiful to see the little babies you brought to the hospital grow up over the years
The NICU paramedics get to go inside the NICU, and see the little ones they brought as they grow inside the incubators...
not to mention they receive the thanks of grateful parents whose children (that would have expired 20 years ago) have a real good chance of life!!
Rest, Recharge, & Remember why you love the job