I've seen this before, and now you folks have to suffer through it if you've seen it before..... but it's still good for a grin.....
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.
They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.
You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier.
'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am...Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical SOB.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at, and we're used to soft food.
We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone out run a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!!
How about recruiting Women over 50... in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Put the menopausal women in special assault units. If they don't shoot, stab or poison them just because thye are having a bad day, the women can verbally emasculate the enemy and nag 'em to death.
Put the menopausal women in special assault units. If they don't shoot, stab or poison them just because thye are having a bad day, the women can verbally emasculate the enemy and nag 'em to death.
YOU put 'em somewhere... I'll be right behind ya....
Put the menopausal women in special assault units. If they don't shoot, stab or poison them just because they are having a bad day, the women can verbally emasculate the enemy and nag 'em to death.
Captured "enemy combatants" would be begging to be sent to GITMO. I know I've considered it a few times.
__________________ Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty--- Jefferson
I have it, Jay! We are also used to taking orders, even if they don't make sense. And we have enough sense to duck when crap is flying through the air! We don't need as much sleep, because we got used to the other person in the room snoring all night! And as for the food, we ain't too picky about what we're fed, and won't bitch about it every time they decide to finally feed us. Come to think about it, we old guys would make a pretty darn good assault force, as long as the weather isn't too cold! LOL!
"They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone out run a bullet. "
old guys would look around the wall for the stairs!! they could afford to pay someone else to do pushups and run!
I have it, Jay! We are also used to taking orders, even if they don't make sense. And we have enough sense to duck when crap is flying through the air! We don't need as much sleep, because we got used to the other person in the room snoring all night! And as for the food, we ain't too picky about what we're fed, and won't bitch about it every time they decide to finally feed us. Come to think about it, we old guys would make a pretty darn good assault force, as long as the weather isn't too cold! LOL!
and if you want us good and angry....take away our coffee and show us videos of someone urinating and defecating on Ol' Glory.
And you have to remember, we been taking care of ourselves for so long, we'd do a pretty good job of taking care of each other! I do believe it would be an easier job for the medics than taking care of young guys! Hell, we hurt all the time, so what's a little bit more hurt gonna do, besides make us that much more irritable and ready to kill some a-hole who justly deserves it? DW, you are correct, and the enemy better watch out if they decide to raise the age limit!
And forget the depends, because crappy britches would just make us all that more irritable and dangerous! LMAO!!!
The difference between the Grouchy Old Men Brigade and the Menopausal Women Brigade?
The GOMB? Don't ask questions; just shoot the SOB. If they move again, check your sights and shoot again.
The MWB? Well, did you ever see a cat play with it's prey before it kills it? It ain't pretty.
Grouchy?
"I tell you, she's drivin' me nuts!... I come home at night and it's 'quack quack quack'... I get up in the morning and it's 'quack quack quack.'"
Grouchy?
"I tell you, she's drivin' me nuts!... I come home at night and it's 'quack quack quack'... I get up in the morning and it's 'quack quack quack.'"
Look at the bright side, menopausal women are responsible for the invention of "Man Caves"
I don't know about any of you, but a little to old for the hand to hand crap. But one things for sure set us up on perch with a good rifle and scope set up and we'll fursure hold that front line. Now don't go pickin on me and my scope like my kids do. You know as well as I do the eyes are gettin a little weaker with age, just one more reason for bein cranky. And one more thought, that close combat would put the ol 12ga to good use.
Give me 1000 female Marines, let them train together for about 9 months, until they're all cycling together...and when they all are about to cycle...
then drop 'em off at Gitmo & point 'em to the other end of Cuba...there will be nothing left but Children & puppies.
Problem Solved.
shrek, that would lend a whole new meaning to the term "Ladies From Hell." I wonder if the Scottish Highlanders would really mind -- or if they did, if they'd dare to object?
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