Workers at Con Edison Power were shocked today as they discovered the remains of a 50 foot gray squirrel. A foreman for the plant believed it may have chewed through a main line and electrocuted itself. This is typical behavior for neighboring wildlife, just never at such a grand scale.
Emergency measures have already been placed in effect to remove the gigantic rodent. New York developed a bulk evacuation group in the early nineties in preparation of the death of Marlon Brando.
A representative for Con Edison said most power is now restored and New Yorkers can soon resume their easy-going lifestyle. When asked if the giant squirrel may have been responsible for yesterday's power outage that affected 50 million people in the North East, he replied "We do not believe so at this time, we are still blaming the Democrats."
New York Power Plant Discovers 50ft Electrocuted Squirrel 
