[Doglips]

Marriage Proposal? Answer These Questions First!
Men who can answer "yes" to five or more of these questions should consider carefully before proposing marriage.

* In the kitchen, has she ever referred to an oven as "that square thing?"

* Does she use the phrase "you know" more than twice per sentence?

* Is she making monthly payments of more than $300 to a plastic surgeon.

* Have you noticed her name tattooed on three or more local bikers?

* Have you noticed three or more local bikers' names tattooed on her?

* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to an old boyfriend's?

* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to the Green Bay Packers?

* Does she have a wholesale source for Deodorant-in-a-Drum?

* Has she ever used the word poo-poo?

* If forced to use it at all, does she choose to spell the word sex?

* Does her resume include a six-year stint at Big Leg Emma's House of Painful Delights?

* Does she insist that her pet snake sleep with you both ?

* What part of NO does she not understand ?

* Will her mother be paroled in time to attend the wedding ?