This is soooooo bad...but funny.
Mrs. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell her that her
husband's been in a terrible automobile accident. She rushes
to the hospital, runs into the ER and says her husband's been
in an accident. They tell her Dr. Smith is handling the case.
They page the doctor. He comes out into the waiting room to
see a terribly upset Mrs. Jones.
"Mrs. Jones?" the doctor asks.
"Yes, doctor, what's happened? How is my husband?"
The doctor sits next to her and says, "Not good news, I'm afraid.
Your husband's accident resulted in two fractures of his spine."
"Oh my God!" says Mrs. Jones, "What is the prognosis?"
"Well, Mrs. Jones, the good news is his vital signs are stable.
However, his spine is inoperable. He'll have no motor skills or
capability. This means you will have to feed him."
Mrs. Jones begins to sob...
"And you'll have to turn him in his bed every two hours to prevent
pneumonia."
Mrs. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly...
"Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll have to diaper him
as he'll have no control over his bladder and, of course, these diapers
must be changed at least five times a day."
Mrs. Jones begins to shake as she cries, sobs, wails... The doctor
continues:
"And you'll have to clean up his feces on a regular basis, as he'll
have no control over his sphincters. His bowels will engorge whenever
and quite often, I'm afraid. Of course, you must clean him immediately
to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent he'll be emitting regularly."
Now Mrs. Jones is convulsing, sobbing uncontrollably and beginning
to withermoff the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass.
Just then, Dr. Smith reaches out his hand, pats Mrs. Jones on the
shoulder, and says, "Hey, I'm just messing with you. He's dead!
------------------
My apologies to those who were offended in any way shape or form.
Ox
Only open this thread if you've got a sick sense of humor. 
sniker sniker
