Shi’ite Hole, Iraq - Iraqi Shi’ite insurgent leader Sheik Waqqi bin Sadr apologized today for attacking coalition troops and blamed the mistake on a communications screwup.
“I never got the memo about Islam now being the ‘religion of peace.’ My Hotmail account has been jammed up with spam and I must have deleted it by accident. We were still operating under the old rules of Islam being the religion of ignorance, terror, and suppression of basic human rights. I’m glad we got this snafu cleared up and, of course, we’ll pay for all the damages. Fortunately, we’ve got pretty good insurance.”
In related news, Palestinian Authority Chairman Yassir Arafat today announced that he too has just received the memo with the official announcement of Islam’s new designation as the ‘religion of peace.’
“!!!! those Imans in Mecca,” said Arafat. “They’ve got all that oil money and you’d think that they could send the letter by airmail. And you would be wrong. Sent an important document by camel caravan. Cheap Wahabi SOBs. I’d just like to say to the state of Israel that we’re real sorry for all of the problems and we intend to move back to Jordan within two weeks. We know we’ve outstayed our welcome, and again, I’m really sorry for the Intifada.”
Sheik Says He Didn’t Get Memo About “Religion of Peace” 
