Send the older guys to War....

[NRAJOE]

Sending "Older Men" to war -
If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington, D.C. But, I'm 45 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35.

1) Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Older guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more that 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

2) Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier.

3) If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"

4) In some countries, an 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average older guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly.

5) An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Older guys get up early (to pee).

6) If older guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

7) Boot camp would actually be easier for older guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food.

8) We've developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps.

9) They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after training, and the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one."

10) An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, to wear pants without the top of the butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out, to learn that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 200-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum.

All great reasons to keep our sons at home and to learn a little more about life before sending them off to a possible death. Let us older guys track down those dirty, rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on September 11th. The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.

:uzi: :nod:

[PAPA G]

theres NRAJOE humping the hills of sandland, carrying 200 lbs of gear, draggeing his Barcoliner behind him. the image is awesome

let the youngsters have their fun while they can.

[Chris]

thats a real classic Joe!

[Doglips]

Your right joe..and think..we got enough quality rifles and pistols to arm at least a squad each

[Dale]

Joe, there is one dang GOOD reason they don't send the likes of us older guys.

Simply, it'd be harder to rein in the guys that have seen some life and have an edge to them.....yepper.....fer sure!!!!!!!!!!!

As crazy as it might sound to some of the sideliners.....I'd go in a heart beat. :nod:

[Oxford]

Joe...I'm assuming that you wrote all of the material in post #1.

Therefore, I'm surprised that you didn't include some of the following excuses for sending us old geezers to war.

1. It could reduce the load on social security payments.

2. It might get our life savings back in circulation which could jump start the U.S. economy.

3. It could open up more jobs for young guys who are still wet behind their ears.

4. You wouldn't have to listen to our stories which started wiith "way back when I was a kid."

5. It could make roads safer for young drivers.

6. It might get some of our collections back in circulation.

7. It would save us geezers from all those honey-do chores.

8. It would lower demand for private medical services for such ailments as back aches, heart by-passes, hip and knee replacements, etc.

9. No more having to listen to our biased opinions

10. And finally, our families could look forward to our military funeral in case we didn't survive a 25 mile hike.

Ox

[ScottD]

Have to agree with Dale. I'd end up going renegade. 2-3 man team at the most. And we draw straws for the targets.

[Dallas]

Yep, I agree lets go. As long as I don't have to hump anything further than 200 yards and I get an afternoon nap.

[jerry]

I don't think they like us old guys because were more likely to die of non-combat related reasons. They still have to pay out that insurance. I'm 38 and still hitting it hard, but there will be a day. I think they are politely asking me to leave when my 20 is up in January.

Oh, they also have to pay the young guys ALOT les

[colt45]

heck yea sign me up for the old folks squad.
at our age we don't run so fast so there will be no retreat, no mercy, and no such thing as missed opertunity. any target is a good target.
but thats why they don't want us anymore they can't control us. we would never stand for limited rules of engament. if it shoots at us we shoot back untill everything stops moving.

[jerry]

Pack it up Colt, I'll meet you in Baltimore, we can catch a hop.

[colt45]

think we can still get a mill hop? they cost less, more money for ammo.

[jerry]

Sure we can get a hop. We can fake you a retiree ID. I'll use my ANG card. We should be able to get to Moron Spain & figure it out from there. We could sweet talk a 130 crew with a case of booze, if you don't mind riding on a 40+ year old aircraft into the box. As long as Chaff & Flare work & there are 3 engines were good :right:

[colt45]

wait they have newer planes? i only ever got to ride in the 130. do i get to land this time?
don't know if the knees could take a para assult anymore. hate to get there and come up lame after the jump and end up spider food.
so when do we leave?

[jerry]

don't worry about jumping. I don't jump out of perfectly good running aircraft.

[Dale]

I'm an old helicopter man, myself.

Bailing out was never an option when auto rotating.

[Rufus Rhastus J]

Contrary to the joking atmosphere here, I still think many of us old guys could be of use! I can't speak for all but, I think I could still be pretty dangerous if I tryed. Just put some cheap optics on my AR and let me keep my knife, as long as my load is light enough and I don't have to run to far, hey, I'm still a pretty good shot and remember how to use my knife. I carry my knife every day and it has saved me, for real, at least once already! Besides, if all else failed, i'm still a good mechanic and I can fix them trucks and jeeps and those humming things!

[Rave]

We think the "old guys" have the smarts,knowledge,courage,and good sense to do the job,but.......we can hear it now...."Dam! I'm gettin' to old for this crap!"
Can't ya just hear it now? :nod:

[signa]

Pershing had the best idea....one we have not tried yet .Wonder why?
:nod:

[Stopper]

Black Jack thats what I'm talking about! Hey I'm former air assualt - Dale, I'll fast rope or jump out your 'copter anyday!