[Doglips]

YOU MIGHT BE A PARATROOPER IF:

You think handing a bag of puke to the guy resonsible for getting you out of the aircraft safely is funny.

Your kids make their friends do 10 pull-ups before they enter or exit the backyard.

*You can haggle a pound cake from a leg for some M'Ms and Crackers

You go to your bathroom/latrine for a "Class 1 download"

You have a certificate of your kids birth and it states they have completed one successful static line jump.

You know how much room there is left in a C-130...room for one more jumper.

You do a clear to the rear out your back door to check for any obstructions

You claim tips at the strip bar on your income taxes.

*Prior to your kids entering the bathtub you give them STAND BY.

*You ever jumped hung over.

*You have sent a private to get the keys to area J.

You have a "Swing Landing Aparatus" in your backyard.

Your kid has ever told you to hurry up, because "you're moving like pond water!"

*You have walked through an airport with a duffle bag on your back and a backpack on your chest.

You have ever jettisoned your ruck and still beat it to the ground.

*All of your civilian shirts have Airborne or Special Ops logos on them.

You rate a potential girlfriend as a "good jump" or a "no-jump".

*You know what a woobie is, and you'll fight for one!

*Your little boy can say "Airborne", "Heavy Drop", and "Hooah" all before the age of two!!!

You issue a proper 5 point contingency plan to your family prior to entering the mall, and hold brief-backs.

You slap your thigh two times and use an open hand to point things out to others, such as: "It's over there, by the - SLAP, SLAP - water cooler."

You have sent a private to ask the 1SG when the next flame thrower range is.

*You have ever had a conversation entirely of 'Hooahs'

While you deliver the mail, you're judging the gusts of wind as "do-able", or race-tracks.

*You avoid going home the same way you went to work.

You've woken your son up with a chemlight on more than one occasion.

*You wrap 100mph tape on your wedding ring to make fit better.

You have ever sung the Jeopardy theme song (twice) between reference points to make sure you're on target.

You know the world is 75% water, and the rest is drop zone.

Your living room curtains came from the Rigger shed.

When your dog digs in the yard, he uses bones for sector stakes.

*You spend your last five dollars on dip instead of gas because you figure you can always ruck it to work!!

You say "Get your brain housing unit out of your forth point of contact"

You answer True/False questionaires with "Clear!" and "Not Clear!"

You named your dog sarge or St. Michael.

*You have a reserve pull ring hanging from your rearview mirror.

You have ever thrown up intentionally to make room for more beer.

*Someone has bent over in front of you and you have the urge slap their butt and say "all ok"

*Your favorite boots are slung over a powerline.

**You have a tattoo that says "Better to Burn in Than to Fade away"

When the trooper that pulls you over for drunk driving turns his back on you, you disarm him...just to teach him to be more careful.

*You know a stand up landing IS possible with a T10.

*You know what 4 in the hand and 2 below means
You know how to make a poncho parachute.

You see your wife in a sexy silk nighty, you instinctually try to check canopy and gain canopy control.

Your kid gets ready for school and it's time to put on his backpack, you tell him to "RIG UP" and then you JMPI him.

Your children can identify more AF cargo aircraft in the air than cars or trucks on the road.

*You've ever taken a "whore bath" and liked it.

You know how high a HUMVEE bounces.

*You have ever sat on the shuttle bus at the airport with a backpack on.

You had all 12 of the MRE menus memorized.

*You know why the 34ft tower is 34ft.

You wake up your toddler from her nap and tell her to quit shamming.

*You've cussed someone out at 800' AGL..ie,"slip away SOB!!"

**Your kids point to anyone who is in uniform without wings and say "Look Daddy it's a Leg!"

*You walk into a building you take a couple of steps inside before you take off your beret to let everyone know who you are.

Your kids open their lunch at school...and see Chicken ala King.

*You've shared a dixie cup with 60 other guys!!

You do the Airborne Shuffle while closing your shower curtain.

Your 12 year old is doing push-ups cause his shotgun isn't clean enough.

You have never landed in an airplane.

**You can honestly say, "I came from up there to kick !!! down here..."

A friend is following you in his car and you designate in route rally points.

You have ever sent a Cherry to supply for Chemlite Batteries.

You have ever run for the latrine with a jumper standing by.

*You remember when the Army had things called "Zero Week" and "Blood Wings".

**Your totally unimpressed by the 2500 sky dive jumps some guy at work has.

You know what a HMMWV/Jeep looks like after it has burned in.

**Your squad has assigned seats in the front row of Rick's!

You have a duty roster posted in the hallway of your house.

If you have a natural aversion to wearing bright, non-tactical colors.

**Your in-flight meal is a snicker bar and beef jerky.

Instead of a couch, you have fold-up C-130 cargo seats on your wall.

**You either shake your head in disgust or giggle when you see legs wearing a beret.

You try to think of ways to hook up a single point release to your flak vest.

You call your burps Infantry mating calls.

Submitted by All American

[jerry]

"You think handing a bag of puke to the guy resonsible for getting you out of the aircraft safely is funny. "

Iv'e actually seen this one done.

[ducktapehero]

Although I was just a "leg"(was medically discharged and never got the chance to go airborne)several of those apply to just regular Infantry.

[11c_infantry]

We liked to send new Pvts to the CP to ask the Platoon Sgt for a PRICK-E7 that works. Got 'em smoked every time. :target:

[ducktapehero]

Being mechanized Infantry we'd tried to get them to tap for soft spots in the armor. Or send them after camo paint, or grid squares, or chem light batteries. Also the rumor that if you turned the Bradley 19 times in one direction that the turret would come undone. Of course in any unit or job you can have them try to find metric hammers, left handed screw drivers.

[Big Dog]

Yep, the same in any service. We'd send young squids to supply for Eustation Tubes, relative bearing grease, waterline, or send them to engineering for a bucket of steam.
Sound-powered phone batteries - always a good one!

We could always find a newbie who wanted to see the "seabat".
Oldnavy will remember that one, I'm sure! Hehehe.

[Doglips]

Blank Fireing adapters for the 105s 100yrds of Flight line.... send them to supply for an "S T 1" (STONE) ... when we got stuck on ships we had Sea Bat watch and MAil bouy watch...or go see navagation and get relative barring grease.....

so what's a woobie ?

[Johnny_Revolver]

n00bs always get `sent`for stuff, a bucket of steam, can of emery sparks, a box of post holes.. or get sent to the store for a short weight: blank stare and silence for about 45 to 60 seconds then: `short enough for you, matey? ` Or! sent into the bosses office to ask him for the population tool...

[jerry]

Send them to the cop shack for a can of K9P.

Have them find a wire stretcher.

On our C130 E models that had a urinal, we had a newbie shouting into it to test the ground comm system. That's funny, I don't care who ya are.

[Big Dog]

One of my favorites is an oldie but goodie. Tell the Noob to get a Henway from supply. "What's a 'henway'?" he says. "About five pounds", I say. Bwahahaha! :nod:

Quote:       Originally Posted by Logansdad

so what's a woobie ?

what's a woobie ?

[Oxford]

A Woobie is a security blanket; a blankie; a favorite toy or object. :joker:

Quote:       Originally Posted by Oxford

A Woobie is a security blanket; a blankie; a favorite toy or object. :joker:

it was in the movie "Mr Mom" with Michael Keaton..I thought it meant reserve chute or something like that

[Oxford]

A "woobie" could be broadly intrepreted as what you said, too, Logansdad. :nod:

[Apollyon67]

Prop wash, Sky hooks, gallon pail of compression, board stretcher, left hand nails, Oh the fun we have with newbies.

[troy2000]

Quote:       Originally Posted by Big Dog

Yep, the same in any service. We'd send young squids to supply for Eustation Tubes, relative bearing grease, waterline, or send them to engineering for a bucket of steam. Sound-powered phone batteries - always a good one! We could always find a newbie who wanted to see the "seabat". Oldnavy will remember that one, I'm sure! Hehehe.

...and he brought back a pail with about half an inch of water in it. Said, 'it cooled off a little on the way; is that all right?'

Some of our guys showed the 'seabat' to a new ensign, and he wrote them up for assaulting an officer. The Old Man laughed him clear out of his quarters when the Captain's Mast came up.

We also liked to post boots on Mail Buoy watch.

[smoker]

A woobie is a poncho liner, which is never really USED as a poncho liner, but makes a great blanket.

Quote:       Originally Posted by smoker

A woobie is a poncho liner, which is never really USED as a poncho liner, but makes a great blanket.

thanks Smoker ! :right: