[Doglips]

RELIGIONS AND IDEOLOGIES ON TOYS

Capitalism: He who dies with the most toys, wins.

Hari Krishna: He who plays with the most toys wins.

Judaism: He who buys toys at the lowest price wins.

Catholicism: He who denies himself the most toys wins.

Anglicanism: They were our toys first.

Greek Orthodox: No, they were OURS first.

Branch Davidians: He who dies playing with the biggest toys wins.

Atheism: There is no toy maker.

Objectivism: Toys are Toys.

Islam: You must force the world to play with this exact toy, other toys are forbidden.

Polytheism: There are many toy makers.

Evolutionism: The toys made themselves.

Socialism: You will have toys eventually.

Taoism: The doll is as important as the dumptruck.

Mormonism: Every boy may have as many toys as he wants.

Fascism: We have ways of making you play with your toys.

Libertarianism: You can do anything you like with your toys as long as its consensual.

New Labour: We have firm evidence that masses of toys do exist somewhere.

Voodoo: Let me borrow that doll for a second...

Jehovah's Witnesses: He who places the most toys door to door wins.

Pentecostalism: He whose toys can talk wins.

Existentialism: Toys are a figment of your imagination.

Confucianism: Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.

Buddhism: What is the sound of one toy playing with itself?