Gun & Game

Oxford · 03-19-2005, 12:01 PM

For all you hunters

HOW I USED MY NEW BOX OF SHELLS

Shot # 1 Missed target completely at 100 yards. Rifle needed sighting in.
Shot # 2 Hit target in lower right-hand corner--from 10 yards.
Shot # 3 Bull's-eye--after getting rifle back from gunsmith who sighted it in.
Shot # 4 Accidentally pulled trigger while loading rifle in vehicle, will repair transmission when I get home.
Shot # 5 Fired into air to signal start of drive. Fined $200 by game warden for killing a turkey.
Shot # 6 The excitement of seeing my first deer caused me to fire before rifle was to my shoulder-- I only had to replace left boot.
Shot # 7 Missed deer completely, not so sure about cow across the field.
Shot # 8 To clean mud from barrel after falling over cliff while being chased by farmer. Now I'm sure about cow.
Shot # 9 Slipped and fell while crossing stream. Buddy says I'll have to replace his hunting cap and also pay for having his underwear washed.
Shot # 10 Forgot can opener. Opened a can of pork and beans. The few beans that were left tasted too much like gunpowder to eat them.
Shot # 11 Shot too low at deer, glanced off rock and wounded a chipmunk.
Shot # 12 Finished off wounded chipmunk.
Shot # 13 Checked scope again, hit big bucket hanging on pole. Hope people get electricity back soon.
Shot # 14 At deer moving through brush, I'd never heard some of the words that it used.
Shot # 15 To check scope again after being hit on the head with my own rifle.
Shot # 16 Knocked buck down but didn't go to claim it when game warden tried to arrest a nearby hunter for killing a doe.
Shot # 17 Gun accidentally fired while dragging it under fence. Have to replace right boot now.
Shot # 18 Won a $1.00 bet from buddy who said I couldn't hit a junked car on other hill. Hot radiators sure do make a lot of steam.
Shot # 19 Killed running buck with 3-inch spike at 625 yards. It takes skill to be a good hunter.
Shot # 20 Save till I get home and use it on a mouse in my pantry.