[iflylow74]

Wake Up, America; It's Time to Take Our Ball and Go Home
An Editorial by Frank J.
Posted by Frank J. at 01:34 PM | TrackBack (3)

Every so often in our nation's history we adopt a policy of strict isolationism due to our fear and ignorance.



It is once again time for such fear and ignorance.


"If it ain't happening in American borders, we don't care anymore." It's time to admit the obvious: the rest of the world hates us. So, let's hate them back. Really, what's worth all this grief we get from dealing with them? Apparently they all enjoy fascism and murder and what not, so leave them to it. The Middle East was just fine having war with itself before we came along (not to mention the meddlesome joooos). Europe thinks it’s so smart, so let's hand over the keys to the rest of the world to them and declare "If it ain't happening in American borders, we don't care anymore."


Let's pull American troops out of everywhere and station them around our own borders. Let's sever all outside communications, no longer take calls from foreign diplomats, and outlaw international flights. "American" will be the only acknowledged form of human communication, and all other attempts at linguistics will be banned. Maps of the world will only show America with "There be dragons here" the only thing said about whatever is outside our borders. Hawaii will be abandoned as it's just too big an outlier to coincide with our new strict isolationism.



I know; you think you see problems with this. "Don't we need stuff from other countries?" you probably ask. Bah! Sure, it's nice to get cheap plastic trinkets from China, but I bet Mexico can make stuff for us cheap and they're right next door (!!!!, half its citizens are already in this country and hanging outside Home Depot). As for oil, if we ever need any we can just invade our neighbor Canada. That would be a nice war that families could participate in on the weekend vacations. And, since at any time many Americans are in Canada as tourists, all we have to do is make sure they're armed and then we're occupying the place without a change in status quo. See, all our needs can be met with only dealing with the two countries contiguous to the U.S.A.



But what if terrorists attack again because their god Llama told them too? Then we start nuking places at random (cruise missiles are preferred as we can use those from the comfort of our own home). Our new policy will be that we no longer distinguish between foreigners, so, if we are attacked, it is the fault of all non-Americans. Other countries will soon learn that America is extremely violent when preturbed, and soon they'll be tripping over each other to make sure that no one ever bothers us.



Space exploration can continue, but we must make it clear that we own space. All astronauts should have knives to stab anyone they see in space who isn't an American. All countries will know that, if you go into space, America will cut you.



It's a complex world, and it is time to simplify things. And, if you have a better plan for world peace than not caring about the rest of the world, then I'd like to hear it.



Unless you're foreign; then I'll cut you.


Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us and is a frequent contributor to IMAOPodcast.com. He is also the author of such books as "Atlas of Countries That Don't Suck (a.k.a., A Map of the U.S.)" and "The Dummies Guide to Being a Cranky Hermit".


Source; www.imao.us

[Uncle Red]

Can we put Frank on the Republican ticket in 2008??

-UR

[Big Dog]

Only if he adopts a more Second Amendment Friendly posture, and arms our Astronauts with improved Gyrojet guns. No sense letting the non-Americans get too close!

And can we modify the Statue of Liberty? Remove the torch, and have her give Europe the 'finger'.

[CleanCut]

Yep...Frank J. for president, 2008! Maby he can force these cry-baby liberal actors to leave the country when they threaten to go if he is elected.

[Apollyon67]

Sounds like a plan. I am not too sure we shouldn't tell Ol' Fox that we would like to buy Mexico, lock stock and barrel. From The Panama Canal on up actually. Let those south of the Canal know they will be the first targets when something goes wrong. Specifically Hugo Chavez. He thinks we are gonna invade anyway. As for Canada, everything but Quebec is just The Northern US anyway, Pretty good bunch of folks for the most part (excluding Troy of course) He is an American tourist up there. Well, thats just my thoughts.

[iflylow74]

[QUOTE=Apollyon67]Sounds like a plan. I am not too sure we shouldn't tell Ol' Fox that we would like to buy Mexico, lock stock and barrel. From The Panama Canal on up actually. Let those south of the Canal know they will be the first targets when something goes wrong. Specifically Hugo Chavez. He thinks we are gonna invade anyway. QUOTE]

Buy it? !!!! lets take it!!! No seriously, I dont know if we really want it! You guys should check out Frank J's website www.imao.us, sometimes it gets kinda slow but every once in a while he comes up with something hillarious.

[iflylow74]

Quote:       Originally Posted by Apollyon67

Sounds like a plan. I am not too sure we shouldn't tell Ol' Fox that we would like to buy Mexico, lock stock and barrel. From The Panama Canal on up actually. Let those south of the Canal know they will be the first targets when something goes wrong. Specifically Hugo Chavez. He thinks we are gonna invade anyway. As for Canada, everything but Quebec is just The Northern US anyway, Pretty good bunch of folks for the most part (excluding Troy of course) He is an American tourist up there. Well, thats just my thoughts.

Buy it? !!!! lets take it!! Just kidding, I dont think we would want it after we got it!! I check out Frank J's website a lot. He comes up with some zingers some time. I especially enjoy his "Ode to Violence". :uzi:

[WetKnife]

We had our chance .For 4 years after WWII we held a menopoly on the bomb and we sat on it. We could have over thrown Russia, China , and taken the middle east . Now we reap the worlds cast offs. Sorry I believe in staying and meeting the problem , not moving to another country and !!!!! and complain. After all if you took out the money factor very few people would move here. It's all about the money.

[.22guy]

Seems a little extreme, but count me in. We can ship all the libs out too. They won't like this idea too much. They can go see how 'tolerant' other parts of the world can be. We'll send them to Iraq and let those wonderful people lop off some heads. They'll be begging to come back to the USA in no time.

[Rufus Rhastus J]

Quote:       Originally Posted by .22guy

Seems a little extreme, but count me in. We can ship all the libs out too. They won't like this idea too much. They can go see how 'tolerant' other parts of the world can be. We'll send them to Iraq and let those wonderful people lop off some heads. They'll be begging to come back to the USA in no time.

:joker: good point! Great idea! We'll not miss a few lib actors. :nod:

[Rave]

True,and it seems that we keep making it lucritive for folks to move here by taking money and services from our own to pay them to invade us,I don't know,but it just doesn't make much sense to me.

[SPOCAHP ANAR]

Quote:       Originally Posted by iflylow74

It is once again time for such fear and ignorance. [/URL]

I don't consider it fear and ignorance, I consider it NOMB! If you don't want the UN to tell us how we should be doing things, then you shouldn't be putting your nose in everyone else's affairs!

[7mmag6]

phaco you need to trim that beard

[Rufus Rhastus J]

Quote:       Originally Posted by SPOCAHP ANAR

I don't consider it fear and ignorance, I consider it NOMB! If you don't want the UN to tell us how we should be doing things, then you shouldn't be putting your nose in everyone else's affairs!

Could not say it better, even if I tryed!

[Rave]

That seems to be our main job during this last decade,sticking our bill into the affairs of others while ignoring our own,rather non-productive in my opinion,but what do I know,I'm just a taxpaying conservative?imo

[Rufus Rhastus J]

and, don't you forget it! Be a good worker bee and pay them taxes! What could you know about world dynamics?