socially acceptable age differance?

whirlwind · 12-18-2005, 11:18 PM

hey guys, i met a couple today at church,and the man was 15 years older than his wife.well this struck me as oddto say the least,but it got me to thinking..."my dad was 20 years older than his last wife!" LOL anyway,it got me to thinking about what would be the "socially accpetable" age differance,so i figured id ask yall. are any of you alot older or younger than your spouse? my ex was five years younger than me. before her id never dated anyone more than a year younger or older than myself.

Oxford · 12-18-2005, 11:51 PM

How much money does she have and is she about to kick the bucket? That could have huge bearing on acceptance of a large age difference.:guitar:

Well...that seems to have been the opinion, at least, of the buxom blonde in Texas who married the aging senile multi-millionaire.

Troy · 12-19-2005, 12:08 AM

dont mean diddly now, i dont think it ever did. a girl i dated fifteen years ago had parents that were seperated by twenty years. of course you could see it on them. she was clearly younger, middle aged and her husband was retired. bah, who cares, they probably dont.

Johan Malan · 12-19-2005, 12:12 AM

I would say 5 years is either way, but what do I know I grew up in Conservative South Africa

gmatov · 12-19-2005, 12:16 AM

I think you are quite young to ask this.

My own father was 28 years older than my mother. If he were alive, he would be 121 years old, if she were alive she would have been 93 years old Friday, last week. I do not think myself nor my brothers turned out too badly due to age of our parents.

When you are 40 and screwing around with a 20 year old, you are a dirty old, rich, man.

When you are 60 and screwing around with a 40 year old WOMAN, you are not.

If you are 30 and screwing around with a 16 year old, you should be hung by the nuts. Even if you are 25 and screwing around with kids, the same thing, horsewhipping is too good for you.

Was this senile old fart and his wife happy? That alone should tell you to keep your nose out of it, unless you are hot on her tail.

Cheers,

George

whirlwind · 12-19-2005, 12:23 AM

HAHAHA no im not hot on her tail. actually they were a very nice couple. they really seemed to care deeply for eachother. i think he said he was 55 or 56?...cant remember exactly now but she was 40

Oxford · 12-19-2005, 12:34 AM

I think gmatov said it best in a nutshell. In other words, "it all depends." If they're happy it's none of my business.:cheer:

Calvin · 12-19-2005, 12:51 AM

I'm 14 years older than my wife. It's all in your head on this matter. If you really love someone age doesn't fit into the equation.
Plus, the funny thing is when guys find out my wifes' age, they all try to give me ^5's and congratulate me. Doesn't make much sense to me to worry about a number, but it seems most guys think an older man with a younger woman makes them somewhat of a stud.
So, my answer is if they love each other, it should only matter to them.....

BattleRifleG3 · 12-19-2005, 01:24 AM

I agree in many cases it depends, but perhaps a general rule of thumb would be related to a.) difference in proportion to total ages and b.) what major life situational differences there are.

For example, there's something to dating a college freshman girl that doesn't care whether you're a sophomore or a grad student, but sure does if you're a graduated professional, and there are some freshman girls who are more like the older folks than ones the same age. There's a certain dynamic to dating where one person is in college and the other is in high school.

That shows of course that I haven't dated outside of being in school. And Lord willing, I never will.

(That means I'm with someone I want to keep more than anything)

troy2000 · 12-19-2005, 07:43 AM

My (second) wife is seven years younger than I am.

dhermesc · 12-19-2005, 07:48 AM

The younger either person is the less "socially acceptable" the gap become. A 27 year old dating a 17 year old is out of bounds, but a 37 year old dating a 27 is no big deal. Same way a 40 year old dating a 20 year old raises some questions, but a 70 year old dating a 50 year old seems fine.

at4rxj · 12-19-2005, 08:04 AM

In my opinion you can't set an exact difference. It depends on much more such as income, maturity, and outlook on life.

I'm 23 as of Nov 24th, and just got married on Oct 22nd (I was 22 at the time). My wife is 29, which is a pretty good age difference for couples in their 20's. However, I have a steady job, consider myself mature for my age, and am very ambitious. If I was the party type, living off mommy and daddy's money, then she probably wouldn't have given me a second thought.

My grandpa's second wife was 15 years older than him, and outlived him. Nobody seemed to even think about it.

Just my $0.02

Shaun · 12-19-2005, 09:20 AM

My parents are 11 years apart, stepfather is the younger one. My first wife is 7 years older than me

mr mom · 12-19-2005, 11:07 AM

my wife is 9 years younger than i am... when we got married we were both working... the first kid came along and i started staying home when he was 6 mths. old... we had 2 more boys. no it is going on 18.5 years of staying home with the kids..... oldest will be 19 in april...
its kinda fun. when they dont have school we hit the range or go fishing.. as long as there is something hot on the table and the house is clean when the wife gets home.,....

plus they bring home some real hot little gals... i just look and say i wish i was that young again..........

Chris · 12-19-2005, 11:07 AM

5 years is usually my max...usually I date younger... and I won't touch anything under 18.

I really agree with a lot of posts here. There is a maturity thing and most females I have seen in college that just get there don't get.

Maybe I should look at dating some older chicks...that could be niceto have a suga mama.

BattleRifleG3 · 12-19-2005, 01:05 PM

On the one hand, one could look at times in life when they are or aren't in a position to start a relationship. On the other hand, one thing that's the most important is being on the same page. Take college folk... I have a lot of reasons to thinkpeople simply shouldn't date their freshman year. But sometimes that's the right time is, just that it'd odd if one's a freshman and the other isn't. Those who have been there know what I mean.

Another matter is when a relationship starts vs what times in life it moves through. Say people meet in high school, say two years apart. One goes off to college but they stick together. That would end up with a college sophomore dating a high school senior. But the situation's different from if a college sophomore hooked up with a high school senior.

SRX graduated two years before her now fiance ('05 vs '07), but she's barely half a year older. Makes for some interesting situations, but they're quite stable and very happy.

I'm two years older that Wolfhuntress, but only graduated a year earlier due to going for 5 years and taking in extra studies. We have progressed in seriousness relatively quickly, compared to what I might have thought up before, but we're both at points in life where we're quite ready to think that way.

Another thing far more important than age difference is similarity of priorities. As Wolfhuntress and I cheer together, "Yay chastity!"

Gyrene · 12-19-2005, 01:17 PM

My oldest sis is 64 and her husband of 21 years is 40 (he pursued her for 3 years before she even would go out with him). His mom died at 78 years old and his dad was 48 at the time. As far as my sis and her husband, I have never seen a married couple that were more devoted, and seriously interested in the same things. HAPPY is the word that best describes them!

My EX is 2 years younger than me, and I doubt I will marry again. The court and attorneys have kept me in limbo, I filed for the divorce in 1997 and it was finally granted in June 2005. My daughter told me when I filed it, I should have done that 20 years before, and she would have gone with me. You never know a woman until you divorce her!
`

Oxford · 12-19-2005, 01:18 PM

BRG3 wrote:

Quote:

That would end up with a college sophomore dating a high school senior.

That discribes my situation years ago except that I was the senior.

:nod:

NRAJOE · 12-19-2005, 03:30 PM

My dad was 20 yrs older than my mom...shes gone...he's still kicking at soon to be 94...

He's been married 3 times...outlived 'em all...
Thats the way it SHOULD be....

Father Time · 12-19-2005, 07:14 PM

IMHO This is on area where rules have always been useless. When the spirit moves people they have a way of getting together, for better or for worse.

My wife is 12 years younger than I am. We have been together for 25 happy years.

12-18-2005, 11:18 PM	#1
whirlwind Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: oklahoma Posts: 3,737 Images: 1	socially acceptable age differance? hey guys, i met a couple today at church,and the man was 15 years older than his wife.well this struck me as oddto say the least,but it got me to thinking..."my dad was 20 years older than his last wife!" LOL anyway,it got me to thinking about what would be the "socially accpetable" age differance,so i figured id ask yall. are any of you alot older or younger than your spouse? my ex was five years younger than me. before her id never dated anyone more than a year younger or older than myself. __________________ De oppresso liber !

12-18-2005, 11:51 PM	#2
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 13,022 Blog Entries: 4	How much money does she have and is she about to kick the bucket? That could have huge bearing on acceptance of a large age difference.:guitar: Well...that seems to have been the opinion, at least, of the buxom blonde in Texas who married the aging senile multi-millionaire. __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

12-19-2005, 12:23 AM	#6
whirlwind Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: oklahoma Posts: 3,737 Images: 1	HAHAHA no im not hot on her tail. actually they were a very nice couple. they really seemed to care deeply for eachother. i think he said he was 55 or 56?...cant remember exactly now but she was 40 __________________ De oppresso liber !

12-19-2005, 12:34 AM	#7
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 13,022 Blog Entries: 4	I think gmatov said it best in a nutshell. In other words, "it all depends." If they're happy it's none of my business.:cheer: __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

12-19-2005, 01:24 AM	#9
BattleRifleG3 Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Western PA Posts: 11,401 Images: 13	I agree in many cases it depends, but perhaps a general rule of thumb would be related to a.) difference in proportion to total ages and b.) what major life situational differences there are. For example, there's something to dating a college freshman girl that doesn't care whether you're a sophomore or a grad student, but sure does if you're a graduated professional, and there are some freshman girls who are more like the older folks than ones the same age. There's a certain dynamic to dating where one person is in college and the other is in high school. That shows of course that I haven't dated outside of being in school. And Lord willing, I never will. (That means I'm with someone I want to keep more than anything) __________________ Trust is earned, not... GIVEN away. - Worf

12-19-2005, 12:08 AM	#3
Troy Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Manitoba Canada Posts: 2,501 Images: 3	dont mean diddly now, i dont think it ever did. a girl i dated fifteen years ago had parents that were seperated by twenty years. of course you could see it on them. she was clearly younger, middle aged and her husband was retired. bah, who cares, they probably dont.

12-19-2005, 12:12 AM	#4
Johan Malan Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Saskatchewan Canada Posts: 302	I would say 5 years is either way, but what do I know I grew up in Conservative South Africa

12-19-2005, 12:16 AM	#5
gmatov Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 38	I think you are quite young to ask this. My own father was 28 years older than my mother. If he were alive, he would be 121 years old, if she were alive she would have been 93 years old Friday, last week. I do not think myself nor my brothers turned out too badly due to age of our parents. When you are 40 and screwing around with a 20 year old, you are a dirty old, rich, man. When you are 60 and screwing around with a 40 year old WOMAN, you are not. If you are 30 and screwing around with a 16 year old, you should be hung by the nuts. Even if you are 25 and screwing around with kids, the same thing, horsewhipping is too good for you. Was this senile old fart and his wife happy? That alone should tell you to keep your nose out of it, unless you are hot on her tail. Cheers, George

12-19-2005, 12:51 AM	#8
Calvin Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Columbus, Ohio Posts: 1,997	I'm 14 years older than my wife. It's all in your head on this matter. If you really love someone age doesn't fit into the equation. Plus, the funny thing is when guys find out my wifes' age, they all try to give me ^5's and congratulate me. Doesn't make much sense to me to worry about a number, but it seems most guys think an older man with a younger woman makes them somewhat of a stud. So, my answer is if they love each other, it should only matter to them.....

12-19-2005, 07:43 AM	#10
troy2000 Resident Armed Liberal Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Southern California Posts: 9,413 Images: 9	My (second) wife is seven years younger than I am.

12-19-2005, 07:48 AM	#11
dhermesc Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: East Central Kansas Posts: 1,762	The younger either person is the less "socially acceptable" the gap become. A 27 year old dating a 17 year old is out of bounds, but a 37 year old dating a 27 is no big deal. Same way a 40 year old dating a 20 year old raises some questions, but a 70 year old dating a 50 year old seems fine. __________________ Liberty is for those that claim it.

12-19-2005, 08:04 AM	#12
at4rxj Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 852 Images: 10	In my opinion you can't set an exact difference. It depends on much more such as income, maturity, and outlook on life. I'm 23 as of Nov 24th, and just got married on Oct 22nd (I was 22 at the time). My wife is 29, which is a pretty good age difference for couples in their 20's. However, I have a steady job, consider myself mature for my age, and am very ambitious. If I was the party type, living off mommy and daddy's money, then she probably wouldn't have given me a second thought. My grandpa's second wife was 15 years older than him, and outlived him. Nobody seemed to even think about it. Just my $0.02

12-19-2005, 09:20 AM	#13
Shaun Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Nashville, TN Posts: 8,592 Images: 1	My parents are 11 years apart, stepfather is the younger one. My first wife is 7 years older than me __________________ "Homeland Security is the responsibility of an armed citizen" ME http://webpages.charter.net/s.s.v/

12-19-2005, 11:07 AM	#14
mr mom Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 216	my wife is 9 years younger than i am... when we got married we were both working... the first kid came along and i started staying home when he was 6 mths. old... we had 2 more boys. no it is going on 18.5 years of staying home with the kids..... oldest will be 19 in april... its kinda fun. when they dont have school we hit the range or go fishing.. as long as there is something hot on the table and the house is clean when the wife gets home.,.... plus they bring home some real hot little gals... i just look and say i wish i was that young again..........

12-19-2005, 11:07 AM	#15
Chris HMFIC Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: North Carolina Posts: 3,834,165 Images: 19 Blog Entries: 18	5 years is usually my max...usually I date younger... and I won't touch anything under 18. I really agree with a lot of posts here. There is a maturity thing and most females I have seen in college that just get there don't get. Maybe I should look at dating some older chicks...that could be niceto have a suga mama.

12-19-2005, 01:05 PM	#16
BattleRifleG3 Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Western PA Posts: 11,401 Images: 13	On the one hand, one could look at times in life when they are or aren't in a position to start a relationship. On the other hand, one thing that's the most important is being on the same page. Take college folk... I have a lot of reasons to thinkpeople simply shouldn't date their freshman year. But sometimes that's the right time is, just that it'd odd if one's a freshman and the other isn't. Those who have been there know what I mean. Another matter is when a relationship starts vs what times in life it moves through. Say people meet in high school, say two years apart. One goes off to college but they stick together. That would end up with a college sophomore dating a high school senior. But the situation's different from if a college sophomore hooked up with a high school senior. SRX graduated two years before her now fiance ('05 vs '07), but she's barely half a year older. Makes for some interesting situations, but they're quite stable and very happy. I'm two years older that Wolfhuntress, but only graduated a year earlier due to going for 5 years and taking in extra studies. We have progressed in seriousness relatively quickly, compared to what I might have thought up before, but we're both at points in life where we're quite ready to think that way. Another thing far more important than age difference is similarity of priorities. As Wolfhuntress and I cheer together, "Yay chastity!" __________________ Trust is earned, not... GIVEN away. - Worf

12-19-2005, 01:17 PM	#17
Gyrene Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: CA Posts: 886	My oldest sis is 64 and her husband of 21 years is 40 (he pursued her for 3 years before she even would go out with him). His mom died at 78 years old and his dad was 48 at the time. As far as my sis and her husband, I have never seen a married couple that were more devoted, and seriously interested in the same things. HAPPY is the word that best describes them! My EX is 2 years younger than me, and I doubt I will marry again. The court and attorneys have kept me in limbo, I filed for the divorce in 1997 and it was finally granted in June 2005. My daughter told me when I filed it, I should have done that 20 years before, and she would have gone with me. You never know a woman until you divorce her! ` Last edited by Gyrene; 12-19-2005 at 01:26 PM.

12-19-2005, 03:30 PM	#19
NRAJOE Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Toledo,OH Posts: 19,043 Images: 3	My dad was 20 yrs older than my mom...shes gone...he's still kicking at soon to be 94... He's been married 3 times...outlived 'em all... Thats the way it SHOULD be....

12-19-2005, 07:14 PM	#20
Father Time Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Northern Michigan Posts: 374 Images: 2	IMHO This is on area where rules have always been useless. When the spirit moves people they have a way of getting together, for better or for worse. My wife is 12 years younger than I am. We have been together for 25 happy years.