Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect
from such simple creatures? Your last name stays
put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take
care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You
can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can
wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mec hanics tell
you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never
have to drive to another gas station restroom
because this one is just too icky. You don't have to
stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding
dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at
your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes
don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood
all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You
know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires
only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he
or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three
pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost
never have strap problems in public. You are unable
to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your
face stays its original color. The same hairstyle
lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to
shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and
one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You
can wear shorts no matter how your legs look You can
'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have
freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on
December 24 in 25 minutes.
Totally different mindsets . . .
Man marries Woman thinking she'll never change.
Woman marries Man thinking she will completely change him.
Neither are happy for long.
A man is not complete until he's married; then he's finished.
