01-18-2008, 09:50 PM
#1 Mighty Mosin Mama
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 1,548
Rectum Stretcher
While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'
To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'
'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
'I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.
The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide.'
'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot butthole?' he asked.
'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...'
Traffic Ticket: $95.00
Court Costs: $45.00
The Look on Cop's Face: PRICELESS
__________________ "Ruin a liberal's day; recite historical fact." - found on a bumper sticker
01-18-2008, 10:32 PM
#2 Firearm Zealot
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Walterboro, SC
Posts: 4,002
LOL
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Red Patcher
USMCR
01-18-2008, 10:36 PM
#3 Firearm Zealot
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Buck Snort, Arkansas.
Posts: 20,563
Priceless is right LOL If I'm ever pulled over I'll use it...A.H
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01-18-2008, 10:41 PM
#4 CERTIFIABLE GUN NUT
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 14,042
Crack me up. Hilarious.
G-Meister
__________________ "My next door neighbors two dogs have created more shovel ready jobs then Obama has." - Gary Johnson
01-19-2008, 06:30 PM
#5 Firearm Enthusiast
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: southern ireland
Posts: 17
Classic
01-19-2008, 07:02 PM
#6 Firearm Zealot
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 14,056
know
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Craig Who refreshes others will be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25
01-19-2008, 10:02 PM
#7 Firearm Zealot
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 6,917
Great one. The lady could get away with that A.H. but if you try it we may have to ship you sunlight in a box.lol
01-19-2008, 10:13 PM
#8 Mighty Mosin Mama
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 1,548
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Windwalker
Great one. The lady could get away with that A.H. but if you try it we may have to ship you sunlight in a box.lol
Unless the cop thinks he's cute. Then he's got a whole new problem!
__________________ "Ruin a liberal's day; recite historical fact." - found on a bumper sticker
01-20-2008, 07:26 AM
#9 Firearm Zealot
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Jay, Oklahoma, God's country.
Posts: 11,401
Ouch! Too funny! Laffin' my 6 foot butt off!!
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01-20-2008, 06:52 PM
#10 Firearm Aficionado
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 707
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SuckLead
Unless the cop thinks he's cute. Then he's got a whole new problem!
Which one, the cop or AH??? LOL
Snuffy
01-20-2008, 10:14 PM
#11 Mighty Mosin Mama
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 1,548
Quote:
Originally Posted by
snuffysmith
Which one, the cop or AH??? LOL
Snuffy
Wow, good question!
__________________ "Ruin a liberal's day; recite historical fact." - found on a bumper sticker
01-24-2008, 06:01 PM
#12 Firearm Zealot
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: pheasant country USA!
Posts: 2,307
01-24-2008, 06:11 PM
#13 Firearm Zealot
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 14,056
right
yaw'll aint right
but I like it
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Craig Who refreshes others will be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25
02-04-2008, 09:40 PM
#14 Firearm Enthusiast
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Southern tube Louisiana
Posts: 266
Writing that down.
=p
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02-04-2008, 09:46 PM
#15 Firearm Enthusiast
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Georgia
Posts: 328
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