An Army Ranger and a Marine LT. are sitting next to eachother on a plane, coming home from Iraq. As they are reliving war stories, the Ranger finally has had enough and says to the LT.
"Man, I was in Iraq for 18 months.. I need to get me some action..."
"How you gonna do that?" asked the Marine.
"Easy.. Watch and learn."
So the Army Ranger gets up, finds a pretty little lady sitting a few rows ahead of them, whispers something in her ear and smiles. The woman gets up and follows the Ranger to the lavatory to join the mile high club. After a few minutes the Ranger sits back down by the Marine..
"That was one of the best quickies I ever had..." says the Ranger.
"What in the world did you say to her?" questions the LT.
"I whispered... 'tickle you arse with a feather?'"
"What happens if she says no?" asked the Marine
"Shake your head and point out the window and reply 'no, no.. I said particularly nasty weather.. and walk away."
The Marine LT. thinks he can try, so he finds a fat slobby woman sitting near the back, saunters up to her and yells...
"SHOVE A CHICKEN UP YOUR BUTT?!"
The lady, obviously confused asks "What did you just say to me?"
"Um.. Uh... Oh... damn rain" the Marine says pointing out the window...
