[Oxford]

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's
not going to happen.'

While playing a poker game, if you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker
is....it's you.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday....lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

I once asked my Mom if I was a gifted child......she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Have you noticed since everyone has an inexpensive high resolution camcorder these
days.....no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.

Whenever I feel blue.....I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars.....and a substantial tax cut
save you thirty cents?

In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people
take prozac to make it normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realize it bears a very
close resemblance to the first.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire.....but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?

Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I
wish you'd come in sooner."

You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but they hang around on these
expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster....you're two
days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of
immigration!
:nod: