Going to a wedding tomorrow...

toolman · 07-11-2008, 11:12 PM

Someone PLEASE shoot me! As if that's not bad enough, I've got to close early and rush home after work, clean up, and put on a suit and TIE in order to go to this "joyous" occasion. I'd rather have my walnuts gnawed off by a rabid skunk with one tooth! AAaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

TexasT · 07-11-2008, 11:13 PM

Just think of the cake. Do it for the cake, and wet bar.

toolman · 07-11-2008, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TexasT

Just think of the cake. Do it for the cake, and wet bar.

I hate wedding cake, I'm already married so I can't hit on bridesmaids, and there isn't enough liquor in Tx. to make me like this!

troy2000 · 07-11-2008, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by toolman

I hate wedding cake, I'm already married so I can't hit on bridesmaids, and there isn't enough liquor in Tx. to make me like this!

You don't need enough liquor to make you like it, toolman. You just need enough to make you numb...

ArkansasHunter · 07-11-2008, 11:35 PM

Bow up and go. You might have a good time.

toolman · 07-12-2008, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArkansasHunter

Bow up and go. You might have a good time.

Only if they have a shooting range or topless reception!

toolman · 07-12-2008, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by troy2000

You don't need enough liquor to make you like it, toolman. You just need enough to make you numb...

I like the way you think Troy, how well is your liquor cabinet stocked-I can be there before the girls start crying.

GDawg · 07-12-2008, 12:08 AM

Jeans, boots, jacket and tie in the pocket... along with open carry just in case the bride's boyfriend shows up! Hell with the cake. Open bar and roast beef sandwiches...!

Chris · 07-12-2008, 12:48 AM

You know, I've never been to a wedding.
I might miss out on my own too,

AKHunter · 07-12-2008, 02:11 AM

UGH ! I feel for you Toolman. I HATE weddings also. Matter of fact the last 3 I have been to I was the bestman. OH the agony of it all!

Big Tool · 07-12-2008, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris

You know, I've never been to a wedding.
I might miss out on my own too,

Most are painful. So many people are more worried about the theatrics of the wedding that it seems they miss the point of marriage.

iflylow74 · 07-12-2008, 02:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by troy2000

You don't need enough liquor to make you like it, toolman. You just need enough to make you numb...

Nuff said!!

troy2000 · 07-12-2008, 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by toolman

I like the way you think Troy, how well is your liquor cabinet stocked-I can be there before the girls start crying.

Let me know what you like, and I'll have it before you get here...

wunhunglo · 07-12-2008, 03:24 AM

I used to enjoy going to other people's weddings but nowadays it seems I'm going to a hell of a lot more funerals than weddings.

Windwalker · 07-12-2008, 09:22 AM

Toolman, which innovation would you prefer, the shooting range or the topless reception?

troy2000 · 07-12-2008, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Tool

Most are painful. So many people are more worried about the theatrics of the wedding that it seems they miss the point of marriage.

I'm reminded of my cousin's wedding, almost forty years ago. He had a somewhat bum leg, courtesy of Charlie, and didn't like people to know it; he was afraid they'd feel sorry for him. Under normal circumstances he did pretty well, but when he got married his bride and her family pressured him into some traditional ceremony where they both knelt before the priest. Sure enough, he stumbled getting up. I doubt anyone thought anything of it, but he was furious; he was convinced he'd made a total fool of himself in front of everyone.

He still has the bum leg, and still works hard at not letting people see him stumble or limp. Surprisingly enough, he still has the wife, too. Although pig headed about wedding ceremonies, she turned out to be a fairly tolerant and patient woman in most other ways...luckily for him.

nathangdad · 07-12-2008, 11:22 AM

and they might actually have a free bar. So, that makes even the most boring wedding worthwhile.

Plan on eating up and perhaps drinking up while sitting through a ceremony that bores you to death. If anyone asks you anything just say the
good old, "I wish the couple all the love and happiness in the world". Guys related to the bride or groom and women in general love this statement.
After a few drinks you really deliver it with the appearance of meaning even if you don't even know the people getting married.

Cyrano · 07-12-2008, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Windwalker

Toolman, which innovation would you prefer, the shooting range or the topless reception?

Personally, I'd rather have the shooting range. Most of the gals at the last crop of wedding I've been to aren't the kind who look good in bikinis, much less topless.

Maybe the caterer could get one of those mixed moving target and fall-down target setups like they used to have at the carnivals? I annoyed the hell out of a carnie in Germany once by putting my marks down and using one of their gallery guns on a setup like that.

It was annoying when I discovered the rifle had misaligned sights. On purpose. So I bashed the front sight a couple of times, got them more or less aligned, plunked down some more money and proceeded to run the carnie out of prizes. When my cash ran out, he yanked the rifle out of my hands and stuck it under the counter, I gave the stuffed animals away to the local kids, not having a girlfriend to inflict them on. My performance impressed the daylights out of some of the kids in the wind ensemble I was touring with, though.

ArkansasHunter · 07-12-2008, 11:08 PM

toolman after a few drinks you want care where you are LOL anyway...A.H

toolman · 07-12-2008, 11:18 PM

Welp, I survived it, but it wasn't fun. The reception had some really good food but the drinks were overpriced($3\beer, $6\small mixed drink), the bridesmaids were all fat, the bride freaked out and wouldn't get out of the car because she couldn't find her makeup

, the music was too loud and bass-heavy, etc...All-in-all, a typical torture session in the name of love.

07-11-2008, 11:12 PM	#1
toolman Mr. Fixit Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: abilene,tx Posts: 5,852 Blog Entries: 24	Going to a wedding tomorrow... Someone PLEASE shoot me! As if that's not bad enough, I've got to close early and rush home after work, clean up, and put on a suit and TIE in order to go to this "joyous" occasion. I'd rather have my walnuts gnawed off by a rabid skunk with one tooth! AAaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! __________________ cosmoline is an aphrodisiac!

07-11-2008, 11:13 PM	#2
TexasT No Whining Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Somewhere. Posts: 4,937 Blog Entries: 17	Just think of the cake. Do it for the cake, and wet bar. __________________ I walk like this because I can back it up.

07-12-2008, 12:48 AM	#9
Chris HMFIC Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: North Carolina Posts: 3,834,258 Images: 19 Blog Entries: 20	You know, I've never been to a wedding. I might miss out on my own too, __________________ Rules \| Contributing Members No one has the right to deny my personal safety Please be descriptive in your thread titles! NRA Life Member

07-12-2008, 09:22 AM	#15
Windwalker Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 3,997	Toolman, which innovation would you prefer, the shooting range or the topless reception? __________________ America: Love it and protect it or leave it

07-12-2008, 11:22 AM	#17
nathangdad Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 2,905	Well, the food is usually really good at a wedding and they might actually have a free bar. So, that makes even the most boring wedding worthwhile. Plan on eating up and perhaps drinking up while sitting through a ceremony that bores you to death. If anyone asks you anything just say the good old, "I wish the couple all the love and happiness in the world". Guys related to the bride or groom and women in general love this statement. After a few drinks you really deliver it with the appearance of meaning even if you don't even know the people getting married.

07-11-2008, 11:35 PM	#5
ArkansasHunter Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas Posts: 10,984	Bow up and go. You might have a good time.

07-12-2008, 12:08 AM	#8
GDawg Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Not in Colorado... anymore... Posts: 987	Jeans, boots, jacket and tie in the pocket... along with open carry just in case the bride's boyfriend shows up! Hell with the cake. Open bar and roast beef sandwiches...!

07-12-2008, 02:11 AM	#10
AKHunter Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Alaska Posts: 899	UGH ! I feel for you Toolman. I HATE weddings also. Matter of fact the last 3 I have been to I was the bestman. OH the agony of it all!

07-12-2008, 03:24 AM	#14
wunhunglo Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: currently "Sunny West Africa" Posts: 2,004	I used to enjoy going to other people's weddings but nowadays it seems I'm going to a hell of a lot more funerals than weddings.

07-12-2008, 11:08 PM	#19
ArkansasHunter Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas Posts: 10,984	toolman after a few drinks you want care where you are LOL anyway...A.H

07-12-2008, 11:18 PM	#20
toolman Mr. Fixit Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: abilene,tx Posts: 5,852 Blog Entries: 24	Welp, I survived it, but it wasn't fun. The reception had some really good food but the drinks were overpriced($3\beer, $6\small mixed drink), the bridesmaids were all fat, the bride freaked out and wouldn't get out of the car because she couldn't find her makeup , the music was too loud and bass-heavy, etc...All-in-all, a typical torture session in the name of love. __________________ cosmoline is an aphrodisiac!