- If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
- Do You Love As Good As You Look?
- Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
- Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
- Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares
- How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
- I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
- I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
- I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
- I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
- I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
- I Wanna Whip Your Cow
- I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
- I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight,(even if she had a chance to win)
- I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
- I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
- I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
- I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
- If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
- If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
- If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
- If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone who will
- If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
- Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
- May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose
- My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
- My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
- My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
- My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
- Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
- Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
- She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft;
- She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
- She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
- She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
- Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
- They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
- Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
- When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
- You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
- You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
- You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
- You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
"If the phone doesn't ring it's me" welp.....That's Jimmy Buffet. That much I know...
"She runs on cold beer and Stop-A-Leak" That's mine. I think I'll "Mend her Implant with Fix-A-Flat..." My wife takes offense to that one. Offense? Heck, I paid the tab for 'em. She doesn't find this nearly as humorous as I do!
There's no one more thankful to sit at the table, than the one who best remembers hunger's pain.
In my Navy days, we were providing training for Saudis ("Boo, Hiss!") and they loved that satirical song "Bomb, Bomb Iran" (to the tune of "Barbara Ann").
During the John Walker scandal in the eighties, a local Norfolk radio station had a song "The Talker Family", to the tune of "The Addams Family" theme.
They also did one on "The Libyan Hillbillies", to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies".
And I'm really looking forward to hearing that classic Christmas song - "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"!
__________________ If you actually passed third grade English, let it show!
Adult Literacy is your friend.