U.s. Border Patrol To Provide Bus Service Across Mexico Border
U.S. BORDER PATROL TO PROVIDE BUS SERVICE ACROSS MEXICO BORDER
New bus service provided by U.S. Border Patrol improves ease and level of safety of cross-border illegal immigration
The U.S. Border Patrol, fed up with the expense of placing water stations in desert border areas, has decided to provide seven bus lines to ferry illegal immigrants across the US-Mexico border. "Frankly, we weren't satisfied with the ease and level of safety of illegal immigration, even with water and shade stations," says El Paso Chief Luis Woofer, "Illegal entry into the U.S. may be a crime but it is not so serious that we should risk immigrants being harmed. We decided to strive for a higher standard of comfort and safety for illegal immigrants."
"They call that comfort?" asks Berkley professor Alan Gonzales-Rabinowitz, "I took one of these buses while investigating the U.S. Border Patrol policy, and I found them uncomfortable, smelly, and impossible to sleep on."
"We realize there are some issues with the buses," responded Woofer, "But our budget doesn't allow for individually controlled climate. We keep the buses at exactly 73 degrees. The Patrol is also looking at switching to buses fueled by LPG, or natural gas. LPG is both better for the environment and devoid of the unpleasant diesel odor. In the long run, it will be cheaper as well, and we plan to use the money saved to provide full dining service instead of the sack lunches we now provide."
U.s. Border Patrol To Provide Bus Service Across Mexico Border 
