[Doglips]

TODAY WE BESTOW FIVE BONEHEAD AWARDS

Bonehead award one, a “stupidest lawsuit in the world”

bonehead award, goes to a Lynn, Massachusetts, man who is suing the US government for defamation and slander to the city of Lynn because a Defense Department official, speaking about a hypothetical nuclear launch against the US, had the audacity to say, “You don’t need a very sophisticated launcher to put a nuclear, or more likely, biological warhead on a missile, put it on a ship and drive up next to a coast like Lynn or any other place and launch it.”

Says the man, “it is my civic duty to file this lawsuit and nip in the bud divisive, insulting, un-American, anti-Lynn language before this verbal poison is directed at other hard-working cities in America.”

The Pentagon won’t comment. They’d probably just be slapped with another slander lawsuit if they did.

Boston Globe 23-Oct-02
Click here for original story


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Bonehead award two, a “too dumb to be a criminal” bonehead award, goes to a Hollywood, California, burglar who entered an apartment and
Was stunned to find the people were at home
Tried running out the door but picked the wrong door and ended up in a closet
Was apprehended by police when he got downstairs because it took him so long to find out how to get out of the apartment.
The police report commented, “showed him the back door of a police car and the back seat too. No way out of that one.”

From the Steve Harvey column in the Los Angeles Times


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Optimists Can Be Annoying
Marge in Raleigh, North Carolina, wants to give a bonehead award to all those people who made it necessary for the folks who create the “Frontgate” Holiday Preview catalog to include the following disclaimer next to a picture of an Automatic Bill Counter, priced at about $400, pictured in the catalog with thousands of dollars in it, described as a machine that can count 1,000 bills per minute …

“Bills not included.”


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Doesn't Have A Prayer
Bonehead award four, a “stupidest excuse in the world” bonehead award goes to a 22-year-old Orange County, California, man found stuck in the chimney of St. Peter’s Lutheran Church in Santa Ana, who told police that he was just trying to get in to do some worshiping.

Orange County Register 23-Oct-02


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Bonehead award five is just to make myself feel better.
I'm a Java software programmer, out of work for 10 weeks, who is finding it hard to get a job in this lousy job market because companies are looking for candidates who possess a set of skills that are almost impossible to possess.

So, it is with great personal pleasure that I present a “Human Resources as good as it gets” bonehead award to One Beacon Insurance company of Boston, Massachusetts, for posting a job description on Career Builder that lists as one of their requirements:

"7+ years experience developing J2EE applications"

The first J2EE beta was released by Sun Microsystems on September 30, 1999.

Note to One Beacon Insurance: All the applicants are liars.

If you know anyone at One Beacon Insurance, please send this to them. They need to know.

Look what I've already done for them! Imagine what I could do as an employee!



This month’s “oddest new use of the Internet,” award goes to a company offering Dildo sex toys which can be bought in various animal shapes. Enjoy:
http://www.zoofur.com/animalp.html

We found this gem at the Aberrant News website