[rimfirenut]

1.My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2.My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that it will come out of the carpet.'

3.My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4.My mother taught me LOGIC.
'Because I said so, that's why.'

5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6.My mothertaught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7.My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8.My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9.My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10.My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11.My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12.My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14.My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15.My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16.My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17.My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18.My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

19.My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20.My mother taught me HUMOR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21.My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22.My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23.My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24.My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite:


My mother taught me about JUSTICE

'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

[SPOCAHP ANAR]

We weren't allowed to kill each other. Mom said that if anyone was going to get that satisfaction it was going to be her.

[SwedeSteve]

^ Ha-Ha !!

[troy2000]

One of my younger brothers was a handful. My dad used to lay number 25 on him: 'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.'

So he grew up and had three sons just like him; he got divorced--and my mom and dad wound up raising all three of them, right after their youngest of eight left home.

Fortunately, my parents had more patience (and more class) than me or most people. They considered having kids in the house a blessing, instead of a curse.

[cb671]

Hahahaha Good one! I have had some of those thing's said to me on occasion ... rather Occasionally

[White Rook]

I think the mom that said all of those things and my mom were sisters..

I also think having kids in the house is a blessing. Having another little girl at 40 was a blessing. The best 11 years of my life so far....

[ArkansasHunter]

My Mother told me a time or two that I made her butt want to chew tobacco..

I never knew what she meant ?...A.H