[Doglips]

TODAY WE BESTOW FOUR BONEHEAD AWARDS
Bonehead award one, a “government as good as it gets” bonehead award, goes to railway staff in the UK for forcing a wheelchair bound woman, ironically on her way to discuss polices for disabled passengers with railway department bosses, to take a TWO HOUR TRAIN RIDE just so she could get over to a different platform at THE SAME STATION where the lift was working and where she could therefore board her train.

Says the woman, “I was two hours late for my meeting and they weren't very happy until I told them why. They were a bit stunned.”

Thanks to Chris Radley, a DJ at PlanetRock.com in the UK, for this story.

UK Mirror 3-Dec-02
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Bonehead award two, a “too dumb to be a criminal” bonehead award, goes to a South Carolina man who ordered a neighbor, at gunpoint, to enter a bank and get him some money while he waited outside, unwittingly, for police to come and arrest him.
ABC News 27-Nov-02
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And Somehow They Knew?
Bonehead award three, also a “too dumb to be a criminal” bonehead award, goes to a Los Angeles woman who entered a bank to cash a check that “had gotten wet and had been repaired with transparent tape,” and which was made out to someone else while trying to cash it using a driver’s license that belonged to someone else, police said.

Steve Harvey column in the Los Angeles Times


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Bonehead award four, another “too dumb to be a criminal” bonehead award goes to a Pennsylvania man who wanted to raise $685 to enroll in a rehab program and therefore stay out of jail for a theft conviction.
His solution for getting the money was to steal a courthouse laptop computer. But when he couldn’t pawn it because it lacked a power cord he returned the next day to the courthouse to get it, according to police who say a stenographer spotted him walking around with a power cord dangling from his pocket.

He did solve his problem. The cost for a rehab program is no longer something he needs to worry about.

The Arizona Republic 3-Dec-02
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We Love Great Satire
According to the Borowitz Report (http://www.borowitzreport.com) “two days after one of its New Jersey bus drivers alarmed passengers by shouting into the public address system, ‘We’re going to the Taliban,’ (the passengers were being nasty because he was taking an alternate route to NYC) Greyhound Bus Lines today clarified its policy on its drivers telling Taliban jokes while its buses are in motion.

“There is a time and a place for everything, including Taliban jokes,” said Cheryl Finster, a spokesperson for Greyhound. “However, the time for telling Taliban jokes is when the bus is safely parked at the station, not when it is full of passengers and rolling down the highway.”

According to this satire article, the Greyhound Driver Safety Handbook states: “When telling Taliban jokes, drivers are urged to use their judgment,” one passage from the handbook reads. “Sometimes, a good Taliban joke can help break up the monotony of a long bus ride, or relieve passengers’ tension when the bus is caught in traffic. Before telling a Taliban joke, however, the driver should do everything in his or her power to determine that it is a really funny Taliban joke.”

The Borowiz Report