after reading tgf post on paint i got to thinking about some of the stupid things i have done over the years. and thought it would be fun to hear a few of yours.
a friend of mine in the 5 grade was having trouble keeping hes bicycle chain tight. while he was riding he decided to check it but forgot to stop pedaling first. he ended up loosing the end of his finger
shortly after moving to Brookeland with my wife i had a garden. one day me and her where walking around looking at the yard and i spotted a copperhead in one of our jalapeņo plants Linda wanted to see it so she could tell the difference in snakes.so i steeped on him and grabbed him behind the head. well i got hem to far back and he spun around and hit me on the thumb. i shook him off and looked at my wife and without breaking a smile she says what you going to do now stupid.
__________________ its a proven fact that the position of the sun has no effect on the taste of beer IN GOD WE TRUST
after reading tgf post on paint i got to thinking about some of the stupid things i have done over the years. and thought it would be fun to hear a few of yours.
a friend of mine in the 5 grade was having trouble keeping hes bicycle chain tight. while he was riding he decided to check it but forgot to stop pedaling first. he ended up loosing the end of his finger
shortly after moving to Brookeland with my wife i had a garden. one day me and her where walking around looking at the yard and i spotted a copperhead in one of our jalapeņo plants Linda wanted to see it so she could tell the difference in snakes.so i steeped on him and grabbed him behind the head. well i got hem to far back and he spun around and hit me on the thumb. i shook him off and looked at my wife and without breaking a smile she says what you going to do now stupid.
haha epic, never had a snake bite, don't really want one either lol.
__________________ We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. -Aesop
When I was in high school I was in the Jazz Ensemble. Our rehearsals started at 7 PM on Thursdays and theoretically ended at 10 PM, but sometimes went later.
One night we had a good session going and didn't break until midnight. I packed my organ up and loaded it into my mother's AMC Hornet and drove home just like always.
It wasn't until I pulled into the driveway and didn't get the splash of headlights from the garage door that I realized I hadn't turned the headlights on and had driven all the way from the high school to home without them...
One day at work, as some of you know I'm a firefighter, I was assigned as the chauffer of the ladder truck. Well the normal routine was at 0900 we did house work, so I was busy cleaning the kitchen when an alarm came in. I put the broom down, geared up and jumped in the drivers seat. I pull out of the bay doors and hear a BOOM, I look in the mirror and it appears I didnt hit anything. Well my captain jumps out and starts freaking out. I jump out and notice the compartment with our saws is open but the door is gone. What I didnt know was someone opened the door to get a tool and forgot to close it. The apparatus door and compartment were destroyed and the overhead door track was smashed. Opps.
LOL rl69, I had a friend growing up whos chain kept popping off his bicycle and while riding he would flip it back on.... until he lost a finger. I remember nobody wanted to pick up the digit... his mom showed up after being alerted by her son screaming down the road and put it in a baggy of ice, it was put back on at the hospital luckily!
__________________ Most of my life I've spent hunting,... the rest of it I've just wasted
When I was around 7 years old my granddad and I were killing time in this small town of Atlanta, KS. I asked him if I could "borrow" a dime and he gave it to me. Then I proceeded to play around with it and eventually stuck it up my left nostril. Geeze! So...he walked me to the only doc in town who took a pair of needle nosed pliers to remove it. Learned to not stick dimes up my nose after that.(ha)
I slipped on a board not nailed down, landed a few feet down by breaking my fall on the edge on a 2 x 10 with my gonads. They swelled up like cantaloupes with blood, had to get medivac'd for emergency surgery and when they finally got the blood out of my nuts it looked like a murder scene in there. My pee-tube (urethra) scarred shut, they had to run a tube through my gut into my bladder. It kept healing shut after surgery after surgery due to lame county hospital doctors and I would end up in the hospital again with septic poisoning... so I stole the dialators and had to self-catheterize myself at home without anesthesia. It was an 18" stick about as flexible as a fishing pole and tapered to about as thick as a pencil. You don't know pain until a fishing pole has touched the inside of your bladder via your Johnson. I did this twice a week for a few months until it healed well enough that I could pee without that cath through my belly.
I don't care what you have done, mine hurt worse. I wouldn't wish it on Hitler.
wow...
at 32 years of age I can say so far I have not done anything remotely close to what you guys have done or had happened to you all. No broken bones to talk about here.
Well, I was running a new electrical line into the main breaker box one day. Never done anything like that before but the books made it look so simple. The conduit was pretty crowded so it was a tight pull with the fish tape. I had turned the power off to the house but didn't know to turn the main power off. The fish tape stuck right at the entrance to the box so me being the testosterone enhanced American male that I am decided the best thing to do was give it a all my might yank! When the smoke cleared I noticed that my fish tape was melted and a 1/4" cut was welded in the side of the box. I stood there with my ears ringing from the pop a fish tape makes as it goes across a 250 amp circuit thanking God I was still alive and that the box was well grounded. Right then I decided I would leave the electrical stuff to the electricians.
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Dedicated to SwedeSteve, Arkansashunter and Ezearln. Rest in peace my friends.
Not the stupidest thing I've done but the stupidest I'll post here.
I'd bought an '81 Ford Granada and decided to show off my new ride at the gun shop-of course! I needed to get some gas so I pulled into the station.
I pulled in beside the pump and noticed the gas cap was on the other side. I got back in and drove around the other side of the pump, when I got out it was still on the wrong side.
I'd circled those pumps about six times when the guy behind the counter came out to see what was wrong. I was so frustrated and humiliated by then I just drove off.
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Zombies tremble at the mention of my name.
My Brother and I used to make our own "firecrackers" with empty pellet gun Co2 powerlets, aluminum powder, and green cannon fuse.
One night we thought it would be cool to put one inside an outhouse down at the little league fields.
Well it was up to me to light the fuse throw it and run. It was quite dark and I couldn't see so well. When I opened the door I held my lighter inside and lit it so I could see.
WOOSH a big ball of flame (it looked like Hiroshima from my perspective) and all I can see is a big bright dot and there's this burning hair smell. I turned to where I believed my Brother was standing and said "Methane gas". He yells at me to light the thing and get the heck out of Dodge. I light it and tossed it into the holding tank. It was a pretty spectacular bang if I do say so myself.
One thing I learned though is it's pretty hard to run when all you can see is a big bright dot.
I think that's about the dumbest thing I've ever done.
BTW those powerlets are built differently now and you can't use them the way we did.
We lived on a dead end street and had the foothills out our back door. Well my friend and I found a very large Hornets nest and decided to see who could hit it with a rock. Well I don't know which one of us broke it open but I do know we ran like hell back to the house. Both of us were stung so many times and I had to goto the hospital since I swelled up like a balloon. That was the first time(not the last) I had to have a breathing tube down my throat.
If you were a real smart guy, you woulda had a few malt beverages and then tried to "bag" the nest by placing it in a garbage bag and tying it up really fast. Do it fast and you hardly get stung. Do it slow and . . . .
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The nerds will never understand the awesomeness of it.
One Hot summer day when I was 5 or 6 years old my Lil friend and I noticed the Postman was delivering Little sample jars of peanut butter to each house.
We gave him time to get on aways and then we started stealing the samples.
After a while we had more peanut butter than we could eat in a year so we went back to Jimmys house and crawled behind some thick shrubs that were in front of his house.
Man oh Man was that peanut butter good. We were useing his little pocket knife that we used earlier to cut the tail off a lizzard.
After awhile we had ate it all up and I don't really remember what we did next but that night I went to feeling real bad...Sick to my stomach so I went to my sisters bedroom because it was the coolest room in that hot house.
I crawled in her bed and layed there moaning and growning...No one seem to relize I was missing.
Come bed time my sister turns on the light to her bedroom to get ready for bed and she see's me in her bed.
She went to carrying on for me to get out of her bed but I was to sick to move so she grabbed my arm and went to jerking me towards the edge.
Oh was I sick !!! I grabbed the oppisit edge of the bed trien to hold on and because the light was on it made feel even sicker.
My Sister is 5 years older than me and she manage to break my hold on the edge of the bed and then slung me around and she when did.
I PUKED 2 Gallons of HOT VOMIT all over her !!!! Needless to say she went to screaming Bloody Murder LOL !!! You'd thought I'd open the bathroom door while she was taken a bath or something !!!
My Brother and my Mother and Daddy came running into her room to see what was the matter...The room smelled like Peanut Butter !
Well my Mother grabbed my sister and hauled her to the bathroom to clean her up while my brother and Daddy stood there dumb founded.
Then my Daddy said Mike what's wrong with you ? And all I could think to say.
Yall wants some Peanut Butter ?...A.H
P.S. My sister will not eat Peanut Butter to this day because I puked it on her.
__________________ IN GOD WE TRUST NRA MEMBER
Last edited by ArkansasHunter; 06-17-2009 at 10:25 PM.
