[Doglips]

TODAY WE BESTOW FOUR BONEHEAD AWARDS


Fighting The Aids Virus With A Fleet Of Submarines

Bonehead award one, a “government as good as it gets” bonehead award, goes to South African health minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang who says that South Africa cannot afford to buy the drugs needed to fight AIDS because they need the money instead to build submarines to deter a US attack.

“Look at what Bush is doing. He could invade,” says the minister defending the position.

Manto received a bonehead award from us in the October 23, 2000 issue for claiming at the world AIDS conference that AIDS is not caused by a virus but rather is a conspiracy between white people, aliens and the illuminati. We also reprinted in that issue a hilarious radio interview with Manto. See http://www.escribe.com/humor/bonehead/m354.html

The Guardian (UK) 17-Dec-02
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Man Dies From Bag Lunch
Bonehead award two goes to an Indiana man who died at the hospital after complaining of severe abdominal pain and who was found, at autopsy, to have at least 14 plastic bags of heroin and cocaine in his stomach. Some of the bags opened up, killing him.

WRTV (Indianapolis, Indiana) 16-Dec-02
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Reader, Tim Helmer, wants you to know that a bonehead award should go to all those people who made it necessary for General Motors to put the following explanation, and resolution, for the “Low Fuel Light” into the owner’s manual for their 2002 GMC Jimmy:
“This light comes on when the fuel tank is low on fuel. To turn it off, add fuel to the fuel tank.”


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Bonehead award four, a “government as good as it gets” bonehead award goes to the Edinburgh City Council for outlawing parents from making video recordings and taking pictures of their children’s performance in the school Nativity plays because the videos and pictures might get into the hands of some pedophile.
Quips the UK Telegraph, “So what?”

The newspaper also raises the question that if a pedophile gets off seeing children all dressed up, will Edinburgh ban Harry Potter for the same reason? Are children to be shut away indoors to prevent their being seen on a school bus by a pedophile?

So, what compromise has Edinburgh come up with?

They offered up having the play professionally recorded but with the faces of the children edited out.

Continues the newspaper, “All this would be funny if it were not so sad. Parents in the Scottish capital are being deprived of something to treasure because of an outbreak of insanity at the City Hall. The councilors of Edinburgh should seek psychiatric help.”

UK Telegraph 17-Dec-02
Click here for original story


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WEIRD EXTRAS
Reader James Rosser writes, "Trust Aussies to come up with a cheeky name for anything. A new Australian-made spray to start reluctant car engines and other machinery is called "Start, ya *******".