[Doglips]

Top 46 Ways To Make Your Morning Coffee More Exciting
By blob

Rank:
1) one tbsp cream, two tbsp sugar, three tbsp crack.
2) Don't add water - just chew it!
3) Drink it from between the new intern's perky breasts
4) whiskey
5) Wondering who's preparing it, and how you woke up in her house.
6) Place face where coffee pot usually sits and wait for it to brew.
7) drink it out of a Mr. Happy sippy cup
8) Espresso body shots off that hot new secretary
9) Add speed or nitroglycerin and give it to grandma
10) Hot and black, as G-d intended.
11) Crush two No-Doz and add them instead of sugar
12) instead of brewing coffee just bake the beans into brownies and enjoy
13) Drink it whilst running across a field full of Land Mines!
14) try to decaf it, using your childhood chemistry set
15) Add Jalapeño peppers
16) Bozo the clown coffee mug
17) Screw milk and creamer.No-Doz and Jolt Cola!
18) Krazy Straw (tm)
19) Having it served to you at the local strip-joint every morning
20) With Kahlua from the navel of a bar wench.
21) Drink it through a funnel
22) Throw the whole cup into the air and try to catch a mouth full.
23) Pour it into 6 cups and put a deadly poison in 5 of them.
24) Poor it on someone and say "your finily hot stuff"
25) add fun dip and mountain dew, then colapse in a diabetic coma
26) 151 rum
27) viagra
28) chocolate and peanut butter syrup, nummm
29) More caffiene, baby!
30) 4 shots
31) 3 more pots after that one
32) Make it irish coffee
33) Make with caffeinated water and espresso grounds.
34) Add a few grams of crystal meth
35) Tequila!
36) Drink it with two women who are not your wife.
37) Coffee so good you can eat it with a fork!
38) one word: Explosions!!!!
39) Drink it with Pamela Anderson
40) add amphetamines
41) Drink it while surfing on top of the subway cars.
42) Place the cup on the back of the school bus bumper and try to run it down.
43) Coffee's for those who have no Bawls.
44) Drink it out of a blender
45) Drink it after sex
46) Iced decaf with sugar and cream 'cause I'm a wuss.

[Big Dog]

I actually did number 11 once - had to drive to the Jacksonville AFES station to enlist in the Navy, after working a ten hour evening shift. The taste alone will keep you awake.

Had a Navy buddy who would swallow a spoonful of coffee grounds, then drink some water - he said it woke him up quicker! 'Course he also dated fat girls ("Shamu Hunting") saying that even fat girls needed loving. Weird boy, that one.

Got reamed by the Senior Chief one day - I cleaned the department coffee pot and threw out the old grounds - he said I ruined the taste! His dark brown mug was white when he got it.

I once found the guys cleaning age-old gunk off some metal cabinets - using the coffee I had made! It worked. I make the same Navy-issue coffee at work now - I love watching those youngsters buzzing around!