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Old 08-17-2009, 10:00 PM   #1
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Unhappy need help with a friend issue

I just found out that a guy that I've known since Junior High School(some 25 years plus)Now calls himself Jenny and hangs out with a bunch of people that like to cross dress and wear diapers!
How can somebody do this?what happens to people?
What do you say to them?
I found out that there is a whole sub culture of these diaper wearing/cross dressing people that hang around in Maine and Province town RI.
I must say that I am completely shocked and disgusted with him,and can't believe that he has kept this a secret for so long.

Any body got any thought or suggestions on how to address this issue?
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:03 PM   #2
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You have a couple choices, accept him for who he is, or walk away. It's your call dude.

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Old 08-17-2009, 10:10 PM   #3
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Quote:       Originally Posted by jerry View Post
You have a coupe choices, accept him for who he is, or walk away. It's your call dude.
It sounds pretty black and white when you put it that way,But I've known him since I was sixteen,and don't think this is really him,maybe something snapped in him,and he can be helped.
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:15 PM   #4
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Quote:       Originally Posted by jerry View Post
You have a coupe choices, accept him for who he is, or walk away. It's your call dude.
That is the only real answer to your question, and some darn fine advice.
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:16 PM   #5
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Jerry is pretty well right on this one, Jason. It is sad to see a friend of so many years go a way you can not follow. But, in my humble experience, only God can change that type of behavior. Let him handle it. Don't judge, but don't hang around either. The real person is still there...just for some reason he is searching. He may come back around and may not. But prayer is about all you can really do.

The sad thing is that if you hang around people like that....it can become guilt by association. Sad but true.
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:21 PM   #6
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Make some time to visit with him, absent his other friends..if he was a good friend, you may find it easier to accept him for what he is...or as mentioned, you walk away...good friends, no matter what package, are hard to come by..
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:21 PM   #7
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When I was in junior high school (a million years ago)

the assistant superintendent of our school district was in an automobile wreck in Odessa, Texas. Well, it got into the Odessa newspaper that he was wearing all female undergarments as discovered by the ambulance crew.

My father explained that some men are just not exactly the same as most men.

Actually, there are males who go along through life like most everyone else yet at some point "discover" feelings/urges/identifications about themselves. More and more they feel free to act upon this event.

People are what they are - this, as I have learned, is just not something you or even a psychiatrist can "cure".

It is up to you to make a decision as to continuing this friendship.
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:24 PM   #8
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Quote:       Originally Posted by texnmidwest View Post
Jerry is pretty well right on this one, Jason. It is sad to see a friend of so many years go a way you can not follow. But, in my humble experience, only God can change that type of behavior. Let him handle it. Don't judge, but don't hang around either. The real person is still there...just for some reason he is searching. He may come back around and may not. But prayer is about all you can really do.

The sad thing is that if you hang around people like that....it can become guilt by association. Sad but true.
Thanks Tex
It just blows my mind that people do this.What has gone wrong with our society?Will it ever go back to men being men and women being women in the traditional sense?I don't live in a cave or anything,but it still blows my mind the different ways of life styles that are out there.I've read and heard about them,but have never dealt with them first hand.
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:32 PM   #9
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Maybe your friend suffered a traumatic experience that put him in the need to be "recognized" or "noticed". Children who have lost parents, or have been scared beyond belief exhibit these behaviors. I have fostered them. Sometimes all they need is to feel loved and they come right out of it. Approach your friend and let him know you are still his true friend. If he is a true friend, you owe him that much !!
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:46 PM   #10
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thats a sticky situation for sure!

One hand the manly part of me wants to shiver in disgust at such things and wonder what the hell are these people thinking??? LOL!!!

But my college educated and worldly side knows that their are folks that have their own unique ideas of the world and how they choose to live in it. This being said, I wouldnt want to crawl in bed or wear diapers with any of them and would feel akward if I was exposed to it... but if they acted on what I consider normal around me and did not put in the middle of any of their life drama I think it would be an insult to your own friendship just to nix it totally. I believe I would adequately distance myself so as to make sure folks didnt think I was a wearin' diapers and mini skirts, but whatever flips his boat is cool with me I guess. As long as everyone knows I am not involved in such endeavors I would defend his right to act however he wants behind closed door.

I do have to add though that cross dressing may seem different to me, but I guess I can kind of get it.... but the whole diaper thing is a little way out there.

anyway... +1 on Jerry's thoughts
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:52 PM   #11
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Friends are hard to come by, hate to lose the few I have. Does make you wonder what things about you he might think is weird or off the wall though...Andy
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Old 08-17-2009, 11:03 PM   #12
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Everyone is different. Some people love sleeping around with women they meet at bars every night. Some people like to be alone in the woods with their dog. Some people like to sit at home, eat potato chips and watch sports 24 hours per day.

This guy just happens to be in a culture that, like others, outsiders find odd. I find the hardcore sportsfans odd. I find guys who constantly discuss sex and T&A odd. Me? I am a geek. I spend probably 90-95% of my waking time playing video games, on my computer, playing with my digital camera, my cell phone, checking for hardware updates... I am sure people who do not really identify with my activities find me odd. But, do I blacklist people who are different? No.

As far as "he can be helped" Well, I don't necessarily think anything is wrong with your friend. People are attracted to what they are attracted to. You can't change it. Could someone send you to an "institute" and you would come out gay? I don't think so.

So, I'd say just let him know that his lifestyle makes you uncomfortable. And, if you are not comfortable talking about it, tell him. It doesn't mean you can't enjoy the friendship and activities you've always had and done with him.

Good luck to you, and congrats on being at least a bit open-minded about it. It's good now that you know it is different when it effects you personally, and is not as easy as saying: "That is evil, wrong, against nature..."
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Old 08-17-2009, 11:04 PM   #13
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Just confront him and go from there !!
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Old 08-17-2009, 11:55 PM   #14
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Whatever you do, however you handle it externally, pray for him. Every day. In eternity he will know you to be a true friend if you do that.

And quite frankly, he needs it.

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Old 08-18-2009, 12:07 AM   #15
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Quote:       Originally Posted by jerry View Post
You have a coupe choices, accept him for who he is, or walk away. It's your call dude.
Quote:       Originally Posted by TRUE GRIT View Post
That is the only real answer to your question, and some darn fine advice.
Quote:       Originally Posted by RetiredFed View Post
Make some time to visit with him, absent his other friends..if he was a good friend, you may find it easier to accept him for what he is...or as mentioned, you walk away...good friends, no matter what package, are hard to come by..
there have always been cross dressers in every society.
if you love him like a brother
it wont matter what he does for his personal gratification.
the bottom line is
unless HE brings it up to you.
it is none of your &^%$#@! business.
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Old 08-18-2009, 12:19 AM   #16
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friend, the term must be defined, i have very few close, personal friends by my definition, and they can dress any way they want, not my business.
why is he less of a friend because he chooses a different life style. are YOU really that good a friend? i prefer demonstration of friendships by actions, including tolerance of things my friends might not agree with.

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Old 08-18-2009, 01:10 AM   #17
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First off it ain't normal for grown ups to wear diapers unless they got kidney or bladder problems.
If I was you I would'nt even bother call'in the weirdo. If he calls you tell him what you heard and then say you would reather not be friends with a weirdo !!!

Tell him he ain't normal, what he is doing is stupid and tell him again he's a weirdo and hang up...

If he can beat your azz say none of the above. Just make excuse's if he calls you. There's an old saying...If you lay with dogs there fleas will get on you...He may have you wear'in diapers so get rid of the weirdo !!!! LOL

EDIT ::: Are these people changeing each others diapers ??? Man that would be sick !!!!! LMAO !!!
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Old 08-18-2009, 01:16 AM   #18
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There are people, AH, who would say the same thing about the Christian faith. Imagine if you were in the minority and thought to be "a wierdo." Would you want to be in that position in the mind of the majority?
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Old 08-18-2009, 02:10 AM   #19
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Quote:       Originally Posted by nathangdad View Post
the assistant superintendent of our school district was in an automobile wreck in Odessa, Texas. Well, it got into the Odessa newspaper that he was wearing all female undergarments as discovered by the ambulance crew.

My father explained that some men are just not exactly the same as most men.

Actually, there are males who go along through life like most everyone else yet at some point "discover" feelings/urges/identifications about themselves. More and more they feel free to act upon this event.

People are what they are - this, as I have learned, is just not something you or even a psychiatrist can "cure".

It is up to you to make a decision as to continuing this friendship.
This gives a whole NEW twist to the expression: "Sure would like to get in her pants tonite".....

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Old 08-18-2009, 02:12 AM   #20
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Seriously, No blood - no harm - no foul. If he makes you uncomfortable....well, I person can always be busy.
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