You might be from Arkansas if...
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
Immunizations are worn fanny-packs, full of lizard's feet, owl's beaks and pig's ears.
Double By-Pass Surgery is only done when it's shown on The Learning Channel.
You have a choice of walkers, with or without a gun rack.
You share the Recovery Room with a sick cow.
The bill is figured either in dollars or chickens.
Hospital food consists of picking your own corn on the roof.
Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.
Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.
Dogs hang around O. R. for scraps.
Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.
Anesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.
Your Gynecologist is Ernest.
Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.
The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass.
Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw.
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
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Griz drinks more coffee than Juan Valdez!
NRA Life Member
