TODAY WE BESTOW FOUR BONEHEAD AWARDS
Bonehead award one, a “stupidest lawsuit in the world” bonehead award, goes to a convicted arsonist in Maine, now serving time in jail for his crime, who bought a home for $25,000 and set it on fire to collect on the insurance. Now he is suing the Middlesex Mutual Insurance Co. because they refuse to pay him the $75,000 on his fire insurance policy!
Bangor Daily News (Bangor, Maine) 15-Jan-03
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State Law - Here Since Time Immemorial
Bonehead award two, a “government as good as it gets” bonehead award, goes to the Hawaiian Department of Land and Natural Resources for confiscating 52 stuffed birds from a collector/dealer and issuing him eight citations charging him with killing and stuffing birds considered endangered or extinct even though the birds were killed and stuffed in the late 1800s when the Hawaiian monarchy ruled the islands and U.S. law did not apply and a time where there would be no state regulations for more than a half century later. Yet he now faces an eight-year jail term and a $16,000 fine.
“I’ve never heard of such stupidity,” says his attorney. “This is state government gone mad.”
Honolulu Star Bulletin 29-Dec-02
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Scary When a Department of Natural Resources Can’t Tell If A Bird Is Real
Bonehead award three goes to the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources for going to a family’s home with a large net and snare to catch an injured owl which turned out to be a $15 lawn ornament purchased from Wal-Mart two years earlier. The owner had to yank it from the ground to show the agent the metal feet to prove the owl wasn’t real.
The owl is now in the front yard with a sign reading, "This is not a real owl."
Yahoo News 20-Jan-03
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I Know You Are But What Am I?
Bonehead award four, a “too dumb to be a criminal” bonehead award, goes to Paul Powell of Virginia who, mistakenly believing that a Virginia Supreme court ruling overturning his conviction for attempted rape and murder meant that he could no longer be indicted again for the same crime, sent a letter to the prosecutor in which he wrote, “Since the Virginia Supreme Court said that I can’t be charged with capital murder again, I figured I would tell you the rest of what happened on January 29, 1999 to show you how stupid all of y’all are.” He then went on to describe how he tried committing rape and then killed a woman, according to the prosecutor who, armed with Powell’s written confession, has now indicted him again on murder and attempted rape charges where the death penalty might apply showing how stupid he all is.
The Star (South Africa) via The Independent (South Africa) 17-Jan-03
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WEIRD EXTRAS
Want To Pay Off Some Debt?
Reader Casey Geimer sent along this bizarre eBay auction item, which describes itself as follows:
“This is your opportunity to own our debt. This debt is free of defects, has been tested and is in perfect working order. It is in its original package and best of all SHIPPING IS ABSOLUTELY FREE!!! Please understand, as owner of the debt you may not demand payment, but will receive a life long, hearty thank you from my wife, kids, and I, and depending on where you live, a definite dinner invitation.”
Bidding starts at $11,351. So far nobody has placed a bid, which is encouraging.
Click here to see the eBay auction
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Uncharitable Causes
U.S. supermarket tabloid, The Weekly World News, claims to print only the truth but we see it as one of the funniest satire newspapers around.
In a recent edition they have an article that begins, "SHABWA, Yemen -- Desperate Al Qaeda fighters have borrowed from a time-honored American tradition to raise money for their next cowardly assault on the U.S. -- by running a camel wash service!"
They claim that the operation has been confirmed by the CIA and they quote one local tour guide who “puts 100 miles worth of sand and grime on his dromedary each day,” as saying, “Before Al Qaeda came around, I used to have to wash my camel with my own two hands. Now I can let others do the dirty work, instead of being spit on or kicked by my camel."
They quote a CIA agent as saying, “… what they are doing here is downright pathetic. They're out there scrubbing away like a high school cheerleading squad. They even have soap and water fights from time to time.”
They also report that “one cheerful [Al Qaeda] employee chirps, ‘Bring in your beast. We'll bust our humps to get it clean.’ "
Today We Bestow Four Bonehead Awards 
