Gun & Game

thrillbilly · 11-20-2009, 03:30 AM

You Might be a Yankee If...

1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

2) You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY!

3) You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"
correctly.

4) For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.

5) You don't know what a moon pie is.

6) You've never had grain alcohol.

7) You've never, ever, eaten Okra.

8) You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

9) You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on
road trips.

10) You have no idea what a polecat is.

11) Whenever someone tells an off*color joke about farm animals, it goes
over your head.

12) You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.

13) You don't have bangs.

14) You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.

15) More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the
same prep school in Connecticut.

16) You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get
his own TV fishing show.

17) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you
guys," even if both of them are women.

18) You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.

19) You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun*and*knife
show.

20) You think more money should go to important scientific research at
your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

21) You don't have at least one can of WD*40 somewhere around the house.

22) The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting
on An on*ramp on the highway.

23) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

24) The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman
Marcus.

25) You call binoculars opera glasses.

26) You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the
road and stopping.

27) You would never wear pink or an appliqued sweatshirt.

28) You don't know what appliqued is.

29) Most of your formative high school sexual experiences took place within
the context of a football game.

30) You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob,
Bubba Kay Bob, Bob Bob)

31) You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.

32) You've never been to a craft show.

33) You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

34) You can't do your laundry without quarters.

35) None of your fur coats are homemade.

Robertm · 11-20-2009, 06:10 AM

Now that's a Hoot!!! Keep 'em coming

DogRomeo · 11-20-2009, 08:39 AM

I lost count of how many applied to me around "appliqued sweatshirt" & no, I have no idea what 1 is.
DR

KW Gary M · 11-20-2009, 01:22 PM

Being born and raised in Boston I relate to a lot of those.

Capt'n Mil Coll · 11-20-2009, 02:18 PM

danged it. I were borned and raised in Mini soda and dadgum it I alllaus thinked I were a yankee. Nows I finds out I aint.

You ARE a yankee if you were born ANYWHERE In the USA and you go to ENGLAND.

CalifgirlinOk · 11-20-2009, 06:14 PM

I have never eaten grits in my life.!!! What are grits? lol

Windwalker · 11-20-2009, 06:46 PM

CGO, you are missing good breakfast food. Pick you up a box of grits at the grocery store and try them.

KW Gary M · 11-20-2009, 06:52 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by CalifgirlinOk

I have never eaten grits in my life.!!! What are grits? lol

I don't know either. Was afraid to ask. Isn't it kind of like Cream of wheat?

CalifgirlinOk · 11-20-2009, 07:00 PM

Does it say Grits on the box?

scienceman · 11-20-2009, 07:23 PM

Well i don't want to get to technical and all but grits are ground hominey. They are great with butter and sugar......I have eaten a lot of grits.........

Joe Brainard · 11-20-2009, 09:41 PM

I guess growing up in northern Wisconsin learned me many of those. Once when I was down south I got invited to eat breakfast at a families place in Alabama. They were quite pleased that I knew what grits were, and that I enjoyed eating them. My dad learned to eat em in the army, and said it was one of his favorite army foods. So my ma made em for him every now and then.

Hey, Hillbilly I bet you don't have a hat advertising "seed" do ya?

Gray Wolf · 11-20-2009, 09:51 PM

You might be a Yankee if you don't consider red beans and rice to be a complete meal.

LeftHandShooter · 11-21-2009, 06:45 AM

Quote: Originally Posted by CalifgirlinOk

I have never eaten grits in my life.!!! What are grits? lol

PM me your address and I'll send you a box of them.

I was born and lived all my life in Ohio, and I love Okara and Grits!
(I married a southern girl...I mean WOMAN.)

SwedeSteve · 11-21-2009, 12:03 PM

Ham and eggs with grits and redeye gravy, YUM !! Toss in a bisquit or three and watch out !!

Cyrano · 11-21-2009, 08:18 PM

The following apply to me, and I was born and raised within a ten mile radius of Fenway Park; so you don't get a whole lot more Yankee than that.

3) You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"
correctly. (Why would I? the city of Worcester wasn't all that far away from me!)

16) You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get
his own TV fishing show. (He has a better chance of getting into law school than of being photogenic enough to qualify for The Outdoor Channel.)

17) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you
guys," even if both of them are women. (Only when I'm north of the Mason-Dixon Line. It's called "adaptive speech.")

19) You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife
show. (I haven't had any kind of a vacation in two years, much less one where I got to do something I wanted to do!)

20) You think more money should go to important scientific research at
your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach. (If I had my druthers, I'd drop the head football coach at the Zoo into the bay chained to a big Powell patent stockless anchor. I despised the clown when he was a company officer and an assistant football coach, and my feelings haven't changed just because the imbecile was named the head football coach. And besides, he hasn't had a winning season in ten years!)

23) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores. (I do have one that advertises the Lincolnton, NC Ford dealership, and antoher one that is a John Deere hat; do those count?)

27) You would never wear pink or an appliqued sweatshirt. (I look jaundiced in pink and I don't own ANY sweatshirts.)

28) You don't know what appliqued is. (Oh yes I do! My ex-wife was a costumer!)

30) You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob,
Bubba Kay Bob, Bob Bob). (Does someone named Anne Marie count?)

31) You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
(Since I don't use makassar oil on my hair, I don't need them.)

32) You've never been to a craft show. (The entire states' exhibition hall area at the Eastern States Exposition, which is sort of a six states county fair, is one massive crafts show. Every time we go there, Her Imperial Majesty drags my butt through all six state halls. Does that count, since I never have gone to one of my own free will?)

35) None of your fur coats are homemade. (Does reconditioning and repairing an ermine opera cloak count?)

So you tell me. Am I a Yankee, or am I not?

Huntinfamily · 11-22-2009, 09:52 AM

CGO: Grits are a breakfast staple here in the south. If you ever go out for breakfast and are asked if you "want grits with that" don't ever say no. That is like saying you don't like the local HS football team.
Things to put on Grits: butter, salt, pepper, Syrup, sugar, Cheese, mixed with over easy eggs, hot sauce, pretty much anything you want to throw on them is good. My 2 favorites are cheese or salt.

99dragon99 · 11-22-2009, 12:36 PM