Here is a favorite of mine I found on another of my favorite forums.
Twas the night before Christmas, cold, dark and foreboding,
As I sat at the workbench, quite busy reloading.
The empties from autumn were polished so clear
For primers and powder and bullets from Speer.
And Hornady soft points, and Nosler's Partitions
(My bench ain't no place for brand name omissions!)
All sat in their boxes, right next to the press,
With dies from Pacific and RCBS.
When all of a sudden there came such a jolt,
I grabbed my Mossberg and whipped out my Colt.
As I spilled Hodgdon's all over the shelf
I scrambled for cover, just to pro-tect myself.
From up on the rooftop, came hoofbeats and snorting
Like the noise out of L'il Rock, from the Clinton's cavorting!
I eased off the safety, to press check my auto
With 230-hardball, I'd knock "em bloto.
Were these rogue federal agents, sent by Schumer and Reno?
Or a staggering Ted Kennedy, in bad need of Beano?
My question was answered by a knock, and some sneezing,
"It's Santa you moron, lemme in there, I'm freezing!"
I flipped off the dead-bolt and threw the door wide,
To find St. Nick a'shivvering, Rudolph by his side
He eyeballed my Springfield, with a nod of approval
"You're all set," he said, "for dirtball removal."
"But this is no raid, we're not here to harm you
Or persecute, prosecute or even disarm you"
Instead said dear Santa, he needed to borrow
My .357, till day after tomorrow.
"It's okay" he assured me, with a hint of frustration
I'm enrolled in tha National Rifle Association"
He showed me his card, T'was a LIfe Member rating.
"I've had this since me and the missus were dating."
"And you see, Dave old buddy, I've gotten real nervous
"Since Feinstein was elected, with a promise to serve us
"So henceforth as I'm out there, my presents a'stackin
"I want to assure you, I'm legally packin'
"And my gift for you this year, shouyld give you a hoot
"I've told the Supreme Court to give Brady the boot
"Now, Rudy and I must be on our way"
He saisd as he climbed back on the seat of his sleigh
With the reins in his hands, and my Smith in his pocket
He jingled the sleighbells and was off like a rocket
With a pair of speedloaders, and ammo to spare
I knew he'd be safe, he was loaded for bear.
As he faded from view, I could still hear him calling
"From D.C., where P.C. is already falling
"To badguys in L.A>, Detroit and Atlanta
I'm licensed to carry. Don't be messin' with Santa!"
Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!
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Shoot Safe!
Shoot Often!
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Your so ugly, your mama must have been smoking crack, drinking whiskey, and eating paste...
