18 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A COP: 1. Hey, you must'a been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job! 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. 4. Excuse me, but is "stick up" hyphenated? 5. Hi Officer, do you mind holding my beer while I find my driver's license? 6. You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. 7. "Bad Cop! No Donut!" 8. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far I am behind the other cars. 9. You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you? 10. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked last week on "COPS"? 11. I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket. 12. So, uh, you "on the take" or what? 13. Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too! 14. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does. 15. So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little? 16. Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum. 17. When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the video camcorder. 18. Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?