Another you know you're old................

Discussion in 'Humor Forum' started by savage12755a, Mar 10, 2018.

  1. savage12755a

    savage12755a G&G Evangelist

    Little kids want to help you cross the street even if you’re just walking along the
    sidewalk.

    Your senior citizen’s ID whips up discounts in many products and services.

    In a hostage situation you are most likely to be released first.

    Dumb blondes ask you if you were in the Vietnam War.

    Getting a little action means your wife remembered who you are.

    Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

    Getting luckier means not forgetting your keys in your car.

    When you spend hours trying to find something you don’t even remember.

    What used to be happy hour is now known as sleepy hour.

    You and your teeth don’t sleep together.

    Loud noises annoy you.

    You eat your dinner at 5:30 in the afternoon.

    8:00 PM is nap time.

    People can’t tell you to act your age because to do so mean you’ll die.
     
    TXplt, neophyte, austinjoe13 and 9 others like this.
  2. ninwnc

    ninwnc G&G Evangelist

    Or your kitchen spice rack looks like this. 0328180015a.jpg
     

  3. runfiverun

    runfiverun G&G Evangelist

    I lost my reading glasses today, then my soda while I was looking for them.
    I found my soda sitting next to my glasses.
    I forgot why I needed them so I put them away and went outside to fix the roof on the shed.
     
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  4. I'm not sure if that's sad or pathetic. :)
     
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  5. Ron Eagle Elk

    Ron Eagle Elk G&G Evangelist

    I keep mine in a cookie tin in the kitchen. Visitors are so disappointed when I open that tin, only to dig out my "keep me alive" pills.
     
    neophyte, jwrauch and Ten Man like this.
  6. Jim Rau

    Jim Rau G&G Evangelist

    You know your getting old when you realize the most abused word in the English language is LIKE!!!;)
     
  7. I know that feeling!
     
    jwrauch likes this.
  8. rando

    rando G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

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    I just realized that two of my brothers have Birthdays today. Yes they both were born on April Fools day. My oldest and youngest brothers birthdays are today.
     
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  9. Rocky7

    Rocky7 G&G Evangelist

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    Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags, because plastic bags are not good for the environment. The woman apologized to the young girl and explained, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days."

    The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations." The older lady said that she was right -- our generation didn't have the "green thing" in its day. The older lady went on to explain:

    Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day. Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags. But, too bad we didn't do the "green thing" back then. We walked up stairs because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

    But she was right. We didn't have the "green thing" in our day.

    Back then we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

    But that young lady is right; we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.

    Back then we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of Manitoba. In the kitchen we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

    But she's right; we didn't have the "green thing" back then.

    We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blade in a r azor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

    But we didn't have the "green thing" back then.

    Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the"green thing." We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

    We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to pizz us off... Especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smarta$$ who can't make change without the cash register telling them how much.
     
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  10. Wicked109

    Wicked109 G&G Evangelist

    I just found out that nursing homes are giving all their male patients a half a Viagra pill every night...to keep the old guys from rolling off the bed...seems that having a kickstand works.
     
    jwrauch likes this.
  11. rando

    rando G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

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    You brought back memories. Good memories when times were fun
     
    jwrauch likes this.
  12. rl69

    rl69 G&G Evangelist

    WOLF PACK

    (Look at the picture carefully. Then read the commentary. Powerful!)


    [​IMG]

    "A wolf pack on the move :

    The first 3 are the old or sick, they give the pace to the entire pack. If it was the other way round, they would be left behind, losing contact with the pack. In case of an ambush they would be sacrificed;

    Then come 5 strong ones, the front line;

    In the center are the rest of the pack members;

    Then the 5 strongest following.

    Last is alone, the Alpha. He controls everything from the rear. In that position he can see everything, decide the direction. He sees all of the pack.

    The pack moves according to the elders' pace and help each other, watch each other.

    Again I am left speechless by nature ... I knew that wolves are different, but didn't realize how much we could learn from them....


    I didn't know wolves put the ELDERS of the pack FIRST. People on this planet should take note ... Elders are to be seen up front, setting the pace and direction while enjoying the protection of the rest... And not invisible at the back of the line.

    I couldn't think of a better place to put this
     
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  13. Rocky7

    Rocky7 G&G Evangelist

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    Sorry, but that is pure, unmitigated bullshyte. Probably meant to promote the virtue of socialism, IMO.
     
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  14. rl69

    rl69 G&G Evangelist

    May be the reason I put it in the humor section.;)
     
  15. Rocky7

    Rocky7 G&G Evangelist

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  16. rl69

    rl69 G&G Evangelist

    Grandma and grandpa were both by ligule Cajun and German. made for some interesting fights,nether could understand the other,but both new what the other was saying :)

    When not fighting gradma would say somthing in German grandpa would say if you do your cleaning it up

    Your " touché " brought back happy memory's
     
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