Answering machines at the mental hospital

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Oxford, Jun 18, 2002.

  1. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    "Hello,..and welcome to the mental health hotline."

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press, 3,4,5, and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

    If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

    If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

    If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

    If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

    If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    if you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss press 9. If you have short term memory loss press 9. If you have short term memory loss press 9.

    If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.
    All operators are too busy to talk to you.

    If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just screw it up.


    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    Ha! My wife works at the state mental hospital here and I wonder who's crazier,them or her!


    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    It's true!!! :insane:
  4. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    Taken from someone with experience

    Would you believe I got these statements from one of my friends who is manic depressive. We laughed about all of the statements together today at lunch.

    Last edited: Jun 19, 2002