Are you in the "NOW" generation?

Discussion in 'Humor Forum' started by Robertm, Sep 11, 2010.

  1. Robertm

    Robertm G&G Regular

    When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
    That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.
    My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
    The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
    I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead…well, it was not a good relationship.
    When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
    To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
    The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.
    Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.
    I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."
     
  2. mitchr

    mitchr G&G Evangelist

    7,512
    16,128
    I can relate to that.
     

  3. SwedeSteve

    SwedeSteve Freedom Zealot Forum Contributor

  4. In 2005 I bought a top of the line Chevy Pickup that had every gadget and electronic device known to man at that time. A few weeks ago I traded it off for a dead simple bottom of the line Chevy diesel pickup with very few of those electronic gadgets. I feel a lot better about myself now that I know how to operate 'most' of the stuff in the new pickup. I now realize that the more complicated pickup was intimidating me every time I got in it. I drove that thing for 6 years with a notice glaring at me many times a day to "Change Oil Now". Heck, I had changed oil regularly, how come it didn't know that if it was so smart? :) ........... Big Cholla
     
  5. Cyrano

    Cyrano Resident Curmudgeon Forum Contributor

    33,598
    35,460
    New York
    Eventually you do get used to the gadgetry.

    The last ship I sailed in before I was forced ashore due to the collapse of American shipping was automated to a fare-thee-well, and didn't none of us like it. Auto-tracking radar; satellite weather reporting uplink and downlink; automated engine controls; an elaborate alarm system; automated ship's clocks that worked off the master clock in the chart room; three different kinds of electronic navigation systems; a Mark XXVIII Sperry gyrocompass that was sealed and could not be worked on by ship's personnel about the size of a football; a shipboard phone system; the most elaborate fire detection and CO2 firefighting system I have ever seen in a ship; all that kind of thing. The wheelhouse looked like Darth Vader's bathroom. I wondered how I'd ever master it all.

    By the time I'd been in her two weeks, I could work every system in the dark and frequently did. However, I still relied on my sextant, the stars and the chronometer to do my navigation, and regarded all the electronics as a backup to my eyes and brain. There's no substitute for a working brain, no matter how much gadgetry shows up on the scene.
     
  6. woody1981

    woody1981 Love Your Firearms! Forum Contributor

    too true and too funny of a post, robertm.