SIGNS YOU'RE IN A BAD HOSPITAL *You go in for routine surgery, you come out with a tail. *You recognize your doctor as kid who was mopping the lobby when you checked in. *Instead of sponge bath, they send St. Bernard to lick you. *As you're going under, your surgeon says, "Man, am I baked!" *In the operating room, you see a surgeon holding a sign that says, "WILL DO SURGERY FOR FOOD!" *Every couple of minutes, you hear a bugle playing Taps. *All the diplomas on the wall are signed by Sally Struthers. *You and your roommate have to take turns on the I.V. *Through fog of anesthesia, you hear surgeon shouting, "Bring the **** Scotch tape! And plenty of it!" *Instead of "patient," they use the term "plaintiff."