As I sit here cleaning my "assult" rilfe, my "sniper rifle" sits on the teak wood table that I had to slash and burn a few hundred acres of rain forest to get made. My Man servent and gun berrer (Gurka) whom I purchased from a muslim tribe for 6 lepord skins and some elaphent tusk has just told me that my choice of coffee may make me politicaly incorrect...I was so shocked that ANYONE could ever think that I would do anything politicaly insensative...I imedialy slapped wifee poo for haveing coffee that was so "Moraly wrong" called my travel agent and canceled my planed trip to personaly place the radtion detectors I purchased from that Commie Pinko russian ..gimpy I belife I called him...on the Heroshema Mamorial and to Arrange for me and Bill Clinton to swing by the coffee produceing countries to investigate this issue...with a stop over in cuba for some cigars of course. I mean in a world with so many things that are wrong...we can not sit idely by and let companies sell the wrong coffee. I ofcourse Called several congressmen that I purchased from a former Enron executive and told them I expect them to form a blue ribbon pannel to look into this... Im just so thankfull that the problems of the world have been solved except this one. Berkeley ordinance would ban all but politically correct coffee San Francisco Chronicle June 21, 2002 By Charles Burress, Chronicle Staff Writer Berkeley -- Berkeley, a place passionate about coffee and progressive politics, could become the only city in the nation to ban coffee not grown with strict protections for workers and the environment. The proposed ban -- contained in an initiative crafted by a lawyer one year out of law school -- has gathered enough valid signatures to qualify for the November ballot, City Clerk Sherry Kelly announced Thursday. It would require all cups of coffee sold in the city to be "fair trade," organic or "shade-grown." It would not apply to beans or ground coffee sold in bags, however. Violators would be guilty of a misdemeanor and could face $100 fines and six months in jail. The issue has created a special buzz in Berkeley, which fed leaders of the Beat generation their caffeine and hosts one of the nation's highest concentrations of coffee houses. "When I'm drinking my coffee, I'd rather not be destroying the environment or exploiting workers," said Berkeley lawyer Rick Young, 36, who graduated last year from UC Berkeley's Boalt law school, where he wrote a paper on the legality of such a law. He turned in petitions containing about 3,000 signatures Monday.