Best Places to Go to Prison

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Sep 24, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips Guest

    I guess ABC news is now into helping people make travel when ATF kicks in your door rember to keep this handy list ready for your attorny....just a nothoer public service anouncment from Doglips :)

    ‘Hard’ Time
    Best Places to Go to Prison

    By Penelope Patsuris
    Special to

    N E W Y O R K, Sept. 24 — As disgraced former Tyco Chief Executive L. Dennis Kozlowski faces new charges of fraud and theft on top of multiple tax-evasion indictments, prison time seems nearly certain.

    So where does a man who has everything go to do hard time?
    While convicts don't get to choose their poison, er, prison, they can make requests. With that in mind, we reviewed the federal penitentiary system and picked the five very best places to go to prison.

    Wherever Kozlowski ends up, he'll likely be in good company, since Adelphia founder John Rigas has been cuffed and the Feds are circling WorldCom's Bernie Ebbers.

    And still on the Department of Justice's to-do list are Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia's namesake, Global Crossing's Gary Winnick, Qwest Communications' execs and, of course, the Enron alumni who ushered in the era.

    Federal Prison Camp Eglin

    Eglin is the original "Club Fed," nicknamed as such back in the 1980s when prisoners were allowed to wear their own clothes and even go home to have dinner with their families. Those fast and loose days are long gone, but the nickname has stuck. Inmates maintain the golf course at nearby Eglin Air Force Base, but make no mistake — they never get the chance to hit a few themselves. Disgraced shoe designer Steve Madden is scheduled to do his 41-month sentence here.
    Location: Fort Walton Beach, Fla.
    Opened: 1962
    Capacity: 800
    Population: 792
    Amenities: Open dormitories hold 50 men who sleep in two-man cubicles. Softball, basketball, soccer, flag football, universal weight machine, free weights. Vocational training offered in diesel and small-engine mechanics; dental assistant apprenticeships.
    Prisoner perks: Eglin has an active music department that sponsors a number of inmate bands and also has a stash of instruments that prisoners can check out. Also of note is the camp's strong religious studies program that even goes so far as to offer Native American practitioners a small hide tent that can be used as a sweat lodge.

    Federal Prison Camp Nellis

    Nellis is one camp that is often requested by white-collar criminals because it's the only minimum-security facility on the West Coast that's freestanding — or, in other words, that isn't located alongside a higher-security prison. Camps that co-exist with hard-core cellblocks feel more like "real" prisons since camp inmates often have to work inside of them, surrounded by the razor wire and watchtowers.
    Location: North Las Vegas
    Opened: 1990
    Capacity: 415
    Population: 588
    Amenities: Men sleep four to a cubicle in open dorms that hold up to 40. Softball, basketball, soccer, flag football, universal weight machine, free weights, stationary bikes and stair stepper machines, as well as pool and pingpong tables. Classes offered in leatherworking and general art.
    Prisoner perks: The dormitories at Nellis are air conditioned, which is unusual for a system that's generally bereft of any creature comforts. And Nellis' gym is better equipped than those at other camps. Most prisons just let inmates pump iron, but Nellis actually has cardio equipment (albeit very old), including stationary bikes and stair climbers.

    Federal Prison Camp Morgantown

    Perched amid the rolling Blue Ridge Mountains of West Virginia, Morgantown is one of the most picturesque camps in the system. Inmates say it is not unusual for them to awake in the morning to the sight of deer grazing on the compound.
    Location: Morgantown, W.Va.
    Opened: 1969
    Capacity: 935
    Population: 1,009
    Amenities: Dorms house up to 300 men, sleeping in two-man cubes. Weights, pool and pingpong tables. Classes in leatherworking, art and wood carving. No organized team sports. Vocational training offered in data entry and welding, plus apprenticeship programs in baking, commercial photography, computer technology, air-conditioning systems, landscaping, printing presses, painting and plumbing.
    Prisoner perks: Morgantown is the only prison camp that isn't located on a military base. This means that instead of taking three or four hours getting cleared to enter the base and then the camp, Morgantown visitors can practically breeze right in and out.

    Federal Prison Camp Otisville

    Otisville was designed primarily with the Orthodox Jewish community in mind, although it is not officially designated as a Jewish facility. It was built in response to the fact that Orthodox Jews often tried to get out of doing time by making the legal argument that the Bureau of Prisons violated their First Amendment rights because it could not accommodate their religious lifestyle.
    Location: Otisville, N.Y.
    Opened: 1980
    Capacity: 100
    Population: 119
    Amenities: One dorm with two-man cubicles. Playing cards, board games and walking. No athletics. No vocational training.
    Prisoner perks: Kosher kitchen, weekly Shabbat observances. Every year during Passover, Jewish convicts are flown into Otisville temporarily to participate in a seder.

    Federal Prison Camp Allenwood

    Allenwood is mentioned often by the media, probably because so many convicts from the New York City area are sent there. And like Eglin, inmates used to be permitted privileges like having food from the outside sent in. But after the public became outraged by these cushy conditions, the camp was overhauled and is now considerably more austere.
    Location: Montgomery, Pa.
    Opened: 1993
    Capacity: 567
    Population: 584
    Amenities: Dorms house up to 80 men in two-man cubicles. Softball, basketball, soccer, flag football, universal weight machine, free weights, pool and pingpong tables. Vocational training offered in horticulture. One program is 150 hours, another is 500 hours. Graduates of both receive certificates of completion.
    Prisoner perks: Its musical program not only provides instruments but also offers inmate-led instruction. Allenwood is also known for having a particularly diverse inmate population — which, according to experts, makes it a little easier for white-collar convicts to fit in.

  2. wes

    wes Guest

    None of them have a shooting range.

  3. Benny

    Benny Guest

    haha, good one wes!

  4. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    No javalin catching classes or dodge the bullet classes? What's wrong?(ha) They need a little weeding out occasionally. Only the best should survive.
  5. BenP

    BenP Guest

    I guess I'll have to pick and choose which crime(s) I'm gonna commit when I'm ready to retire and need someone to care for me (Ha ha ha ha....). What were those federal offenses again?
  6. Logansdad

    Logansdad Guest

    Canaduh...uhm..uhr Canada
  7. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    Whatever you do...don't send me to Leavenworth!


    There's another Federal Prison located about 60+ miles NW of my home in Kansas City. It's located in Leavenworth, KS. This past week my newspaper carried an article saying that Leavenworth Fed. Prison was going to be rebuilt because it was "outdated, too old,... etc".

    Leavenworth only got the "best/worst?". (ha) Capone spent time there as well as the Birdman. I've driven by recently and the prison walls and complex are an awesome sight. I'd rather go to Taco Bells for meals and sleep in my own sack with my wife.(ha)

    Do you know anything about this re-building project?

  8. Stewart

    Stewart Guest

    Went to Ft Leavenworth back in 1992 for a combined arms staff officer course, that whole area seems to have a lot of prisons. From the officer quarters you could see the big Federal prision, not a fun looking place. For effect we were all allowed to tour the military prision which is on Ft Leavenworth, so we could see how all the convicted military personnel get to serve their time. I see niether of these made the ABC list.
  9. Oxford

    Oxford G&G Evangelist

    Lansing State Prison


    You're right. Lansing State Prison is just a few miles from Fort Leavenworth's Federal prison. They employ lots of locals and that helps the area's economy.

    I've visited Lansing with a group I was associated with. We sat in a room filled with prisoners who were "about" ready to be released. These prisoners had been convicted of almost every sort of crime. As they approached a certain amount of time before they were due to be either paroled or released they could voluntarily attend these sessions which were called, "Seven Steps to Freedom".

    Every other seat was a convict among us Johns (visitors). Then we ate with them in the prison mess hall. Upon time for us to leave we were frisked and searched carefully and herded through several sets of steel barred doors before finally getting back outside. That was a relief.
    I definitely know why I wouldn't want to have that as an address for the rest of my life.(ha)

  10. Big Dog

    Big Dog Retired IT Dinosaur Wrangler Forum Contributor

    We have the FCI (Federal Correctional Institution) here in Tallahassee, Florida. I guess it didn't make the grade, either. Our biggest claim to fame was a couple years ago, a breakout attempt was staged using a helicopter. Unfortunately for the bad guys, it was part of a sting operation. The pilot was a Fed LEO!
    I always hoped they'd make a TV movie of the event.
    This prison is just up the road from one of our newest High Schools - a sobering thought for the local families! We also had our indoor shooting range close by, til it went under.
    This facility doesn't have the reputation of some of the big city Federal Pens, but I still would rather not be a guest.