Condom ingenuity Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. Lily: What's that? Bertha: A condom. This way my cigarette don't get wet. Lily: Where did you get it? Bertha: You can get them at any pharmacy. The next day, Lily hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers. Lily: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel. The pharmacist fainted.