Cop Riddles

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Oct 17, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips Guest

    9,080
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    Cop Riddles
    Q Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
    A Everyone has the same DNA.

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    Q What does CHAOS stand for?
    A Chief Hasn't Arrived On Scene

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    Q What do you call a midget fortune-teller who just escaped from jail?
    A A small medium at large.

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    Q What do you call a handcuffed man in the back of a police car?
    A Trustworthy

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    Q What do you call officer Bob when he retires?
    A Bob.

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    Q Why do women make better police officers than men?
    A Because they can bleed for a week and still not die.

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    Q What's the difference between an execution and a circumcision?
    A With an execution, you get rid of the whole prick..

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    Q How is an erection like a prison sentence?
    A Neither is stiff enough or long enough.

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    Q What's the difference between Amado Diallo and an Irishman?
    A An Irishman would still be standing after 41 shots.

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    Q What do you call Tuesday's at a Texas prison?
    A Fryday.

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    Q Why did the New York Police Department fire all their gay detectives?
    A They kept blowing all their cases.

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    Q Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
    A She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

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    Q Did you hear about the escaped murderer's new website?
    A It's at slash, slash, backslash, escape.

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    Q Why couldn't Ted Bundy go out the night he was executed in the electric chair?
    A He was grounded.

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    Q What was Ted Bundy's last job in prison?
    A Conductor.

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    Q What was Ted Bundy's emotional state the day of his electrocution?
    A He was really hot under the collar.

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    Q How many cops does it take to throw a perpetrator down the stairs?
    A None, he fell!

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    Q Do you know the sentence for bigamy?
    A Two mothers-in-law.

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    Q Where do police officers keep their money?
    A In piggy banks.

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    Q Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A Philadelphia Cop: I don't know, but give me five minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

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    Q How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A Just one, but he is never around when you need him.

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    Q How does an LA policeman go fishing?
    A He catches one fish, then beats it until it tells him where the others are.

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    Q Five policemen were on a boat. The boat sank. How many policemen died?
    A 10. Five during the accident, and five during the re-enactment.

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    Q How does the LAPD play poker?
    A Four clubs beat a king.

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    Q Why don't they give Polish police coffee breaks?
    A It's too costly to retrain them.
     
  2. NRAJOE

    NRAJOE YOU TALKIN' TO ME!? Forum Contributor

    Q How does the LAPD play poker?
    A Four clubs beat a king. Oh man......:eek: :D
     

  3. oneastrix

    oneastrix G&G Newbie

    Actually, CHAOS should mean..."Chief HAS arrived on scene!" That's always been my experience!LOL
     
  4. taras

    taras Guest

    402
    0
    O.K after drinking all that coffee, and reading your jokes I decided these computers should come with built in portapotties. A real gut-buster.