DAVIDSON COUNTY, TN—The Supreme Court of Tennessee ruled

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Doglips, Oct 19, 2002.

  1. Doglips

    Doglips Guest

    DAVIDSON COUNTY, TN—The Supreme Court of Tennessee ruled Tuesday after more than a week of heated debate, that a one-on-one exchange known colloquially as a "***** slap" was not in violation of any local, state or federal laws they were aware of.

    The four-to-one decision, read by Chief Justice Frank F. Drowota, declares that citizens have the right to "strike, with an open hand, any and all persons, be it male or female, of sound mind and without distinguishable handicap, if that person or persons shall say or do something that would, by most accounts, be considered ignorant, arrogant, overtly feminine, hypersensitive, or whiny."

    In addition, the ruling indicates that "the party on the receiving end of this treatment, shall not, at any time, weep, sob or threaten to call the authorities, seek or achieve solace in talk show hosts or any other daytime programming, as in doing so would automatically give greater authority and credence to the party on the giving end of this treatment to continue with greater voracity until such time as deemed necessary."

    Outside the courthouse, there was a strong reaction to the ruling among constituents, with most clapping in support of the long-awaited decision, and a much quieter minority who attempted to slip away without detection.

    Despite the one dissenting vote cast by Justice Janice M. Holder, the lone female on the Court, Holder still admits that she's anxious to get home and "have a little talk" with her husband, who hasn't worked in 5 years due to bouts with chronic depression.

    "I can't wait," Holder said as she bent over to comfort a trembling housewife. "Seriously. I need to get home. Where's my car?"