close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

decyfering personal ads

Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by panhandler, Aug 13, 2002.

  1. WOMEN'S ADS
    > 40-ish.......................... 49
    > Adventurer.................. Slept with all your friends
    > Athletic.................... ....No tits
    > Average looking............Face like a basset hound
    > Beautiful.......................Pathological liar
    > Contagious Smile..........Does a lot of Ecstasy
    > Educated......................Banged her professors
    > Emotionally Secure.......... Medicated
    > Feminist.................... Fat ballbuster
    > Free spirit................. Junkie
    > Friendship first............ Trying to live down reputation as a slut
    > Fun......................... Annoying
    > Gentle...................... Comatose
    > Good Listener............... Borderline Autistic
    > New-Age..................... All body hair, all the time
    > Old-fashioned............... Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
    > Open-minded................. Desperate
    > Outgoing.................... Loud and Embarrassing
    > Passionate.................. Sloppy drunk
    > Poet........................ Depressive Schizophrenic
    > Professional................ Certified *****
    > Redhead..................... Bad dye-job
    > Reubenesque................. Grossly Fat
    > Romantic.................... Looks better by candlelight
    > Social...................... Has been passed around like hors-d'oeuvres
    > Voluptuous.................. Very Fat
    > Weight proportion w/ height..... Hugely Fat, as tall as you are wide
    > Wants Soulmate.............. Stalker
    > Widow....................... Drove first husband to shoot himself
    > Young at heart.............. Old bat
    >
    > MEN'S ADS
    > 40-ish................ 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
    > Athletic.............. Watches a lot of Football
    > Average looking....... Unusual hair growth on ears,nose, & back
    > Educated.............. Will patronize the **** out of you
    > Free Spirit........... Banging your sister
    > Friendship first...... As long as friendship involves nookie
    > Fun................... Good with a remote and a six pack
    > Good looking.......... Arrogant
    > Very good looking..... Dumb as a board
    > Honest................ Pathological Liar
    > Huggable.............. Overweight, more body hair than a bear
    > Likes to cuddle....... Insecure mama's boy
    > Mature................ Older than your father
    > Open-minded........... Wants to sleep with your roommate too
    > Physically fit........ Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
    > Poet.................. Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall
    > Sensitive............. Cries at chick flicks
    > Very sensitive........ Gay
    > Spiritual............. Got laid in a cemetery once
    > Stable................ Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
    > Thoughtful............ Says "Excuse me" when he farts