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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We're on a new lease just north of Possum Kingdom Reservoir(made famous by The Toadies) TX, and are having a ball breaking in the locals. On opening day, after field dressing a deer like a monkey on nitrous, my buddy and I go into the local Wal-mart to get forgotten supplies. He's covered in blood. He rushes straight up to the hunting counter and say's "Is this where I get a hunting license? I'm in a huge hurry!" It took the old guy a second to figure him out, but the look on his face was priceless! We all had a laugh. Nothing like a spontanious comedian.
At a local retaurant the waitress asked if if we had any luck. I said "We got half a dozen this morning before the sun came up. Shot four dead, and had to run down the others in our deer blind. Z-71 Poacher Package. By the way, whats the bag limit for this county?"
Any of you guy's hunt with comedians?
 

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I had a more subtle experience once.

I was in Wal Mart with a shopping cart that had at some point been splattered all over with red paint. I had it in the sporting goods section as I was looking over a Weatherby rifle. No sooner does my former roommate's former girlfriend come by and see me holding that rifle over that cart. I forget what she asked me exactly, but my reply was something like "They let me try it out back, deer's out in the car, would you like some?"
 

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We stripped one my my best friends down to his skivvies and duct taped his feet and hands together, chucked him on his mothers front porch. It seemed like a good idea at the time!:34:
 

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Neighbor was walking back to his farm house after a very unsuccessful hunt. Saw a dead rock python lying in the road. Decided to scare his mom and picked it up, wrapped it around one arm, around his neck and around the other arm. As he walked to the stoep, where his mother was sitting, the snake went into rigor mortis, dislocating both shoulders and putting the neighbor in hospital for about 3 weeks. We had a good chuckle about that once we got him drunk enough to tell us why he's in hospital - doctor wasn't impressed when he smelled the booze :)
 

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Mate stuck the muzzle of his .30-`06 into the entrance of a rabbit warren to ` deafen the lil b`stards ` about a shovel full of red dirt flew out of the hole back into his face when he fired like it`d come out a cannon, he had quite a bit embedded in his forehead for several weeks to remind us of what a knob he was.
We were bored one slightly wet afternoon out west so we did same clay pigeon shooting with 00/SG`s and an old hubcap frisbee`d into the air.

On the same trip ( it was over 20 yrs ago, we were kids, sue me ) we drove out of the property onto the highway, and down said highway for about 20 or 30 clicks looking for this other entrance to a known pig haunt in a ute same as Wal had in Crocodile Dundee ( a VC Valiant ) we had rifles and shotguns, 2 guys standing in the back of the ute holding both. Car didnt have one bit of brakes at all, nothing..

Same trip, we took some dry ice in the coolers to see how it`d go, we froze a round roast solid as a rock, as well some beer.

Same trip, it was raining a bit as we left, we hit some water ( it was a creek ) that had crossed the road, doing better than 70 mph, filled the engine with water. One spark plug broke when removed to get the water out. Mate who had organised the trip walked into a pub after we staggered to the next lil town on 5 cylinders and asked where another plug could be purchased. Was aked where we were headed, was told ` The road`s closed, the river is over it in a few places ` he got back in the car and didnt say a word!

Any sane person, when confronted with a over flowing floodway, especially when an old couple in a new 4WD Hilux turned around from it, would have given up and gone home... We just put 2 fertilizer bags over the roo bar on the front and took the fan belt off and drove through in a regular car type van towing a trailer.. A few times as we went along.. It was about 3 and a half foot or more deep atleast in the middle. Gulp..

I could go on about just this trip for quite a bit still, let alone the other trips we did around the period, but I don`t want to clog things with my ramblings.
 

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Okay, here`s another. In 1986 ( yee gads ) Myself and 2 other punters went to a sheep station some 800 or so K`s from here. Was a real shoestring affair as we were all out of work at the time. We had a couple of single shotguns and an SxS the rest were borrowed: a then legal here Winchester pump action 12G and M1 carbine, a full wood Lee Enfield and a Brno .22.

It was a grand trip, freezing cold ( by our standards ) but fun and productive. We took a couple of frozen reef fish for the owner to have which were VERY much apprciated. We took some for ourselves to eat. Early one morning my good friend Boyd was cooking breakfast of Spanish Mackerel fillets and garlic chips. As you do, you know?

Boyd had bought an army blanket from the Army disposal store, cut a hole in the middle took poke his head through and viola! instant High Plains Drifter poncho tied around his waist by an ammo belt. Anyway, the fat from this meal some previous meals had spattered onto the front of the `poncho` and being flannel, when the fire from the stove licked out from the door of the wood stove, it caught the bottom of the poncho a light.

Boyd turned around and brushed the small flames down, VOOOOMPH! up he went like an Olympic torch, lit the room up really well in the pre dawn darkness. I was stuck behind the table loading my borrowed M1 mags, so it was up to the other guy to first, chase and catch the flaming Boyd, then crash tackle him, and then beat him out on the floor.

Even he had eyebrows after the fact, Boyd couldnt have looked more surprised. He was just a tad singed. It was then up to me to break the stunned silence by saying ` oi, what about turning those fillets?`
 

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I just remembered the time my cousin slept in as he had too much to drink the night before. I killed a nice eating sized buck that morning and put the liver on his pillow next to his head. He freaked pretty good when he woke up, he didn't know what was going on.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
All 1st kill june bugs(kids), and also adults who dont like to field dress, have thier deer's genitalia thrown at them. Hard.
 

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Here is one for the books! We had a guy in camp new to hunting and I thought he needed a reallity check so...! I went out about 75 yrds in front of his tree stand and cleared a small place out in the underbrush just big enough for a old 13 pt mount I found at a yard sale.I made it loook like a big buck bedded down right by a bunch of fence and a couple of bales of corn stalks. 4 hours into the hunt we finally hear a boom boom boom and a (!!!! yeah guys I got him)! We walked over to him and he was still in his stand and started telling us this story of how he saw this buck walk in and bed down out about 70 or 80 yrds. He said he waited for a bit to shoot but thought it was best to get him as he was bedded so as not to let him get away. Now,the 3 of us that are in on this prank are holding off the laughter and it sure was tough. Rog is now down and walking to his big buck(mount we thought)BUT he is walking to far to the east and I say to him isnt it over there by the bales! He says no its over here by the creek! So we all walk over to him thinking he lost his bearings and what do WE see but a real freshly killed buck and a nice one at that. I ask Rog if he saw anything else and he said: sure did I saw one over by the rolled up fence and I was going to shoot him until I saw the BOARD ATTACHED TO HIS SHOULDERS!!! The joke turned out to be on us! How did we know that a real live buck would walk in and bed down within 25yrds of MY practical joke!!! !!!! deer can even ruin a good joke!
 

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Good Morning surprise.

We had a guy that was not too comfy in the dark. He said that he was always a little nervous in the dark (FYI I encourage everyone not to use a light). So he goes to his blind on opening morning last year, gets into his blind and when he moves his chair to sit down, the rope that is holding 50 lbs of potatoes swings from 30-40 feet in the air and crashes into his blind. Then when he opens the door to one of his windows yet another sack of potatoes from the opposite direction crash into his blind. He said he almost peed himself.

The year before that we hung a zip line on one of his lanes. Then we strung up a decoy with pretty big antlers on it. Then on walkie talkies we start asking how the hunt is going just around day break. When he mentions that he sees a buck mulling around halfway down his run but could not get a shot, we cut the rope to the weights. The decoy goes "running down the lane". Wild gun fire erupts with the decoy slamming into the blind. He did not know what it was until the deer had stopped and he was able to get out and look at it. We were hiding close by and were able to see the hole thing.
 
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