Divorce Letters

Discussion in 'Humor Forum' started by Robertm, Aug 28, 2010.

  1. Robertm

    Robertm G&G Regular

    My Dear husband:

    I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years & I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw.

    Last week, you came home & you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new nightie. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

    Your EX-Wife.
    Don't try to find me.
    Your BROTHER & I are moving to Aruba together!
    Have a great life!
    *****************
    Dear Ex-wife

    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
    It's true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.

    I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & bitching. Too bad that doesn't work.

    I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my father raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

    And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten pork for 7 years.

    About the new nightie: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on it, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

    After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the 20 million dollar Lotto, on Saturday, I left my job & bought 2 tickets for us to Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone.

    Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

    I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
    My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dollar from me.

    So take care.

    Signed,
    Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Carla.










     
  2. 338RUM

    338RUM G&G Evangelist

    F*ing SWEET!!! LMAO!!!
     

  3. SwedeSteve

    SwedeSteve Freedom Zealot Forum Contributor

    If only it could always turn out that way !!
     
  4. grizcty

    grizcty God, Guns, Glory Forum Contributor

    What a hoot!

    Thanks
     
  5. Windwalker

    Windwalker G&G Newbie

    That encourages one to believe that there is still some justice in this world.
     
  6. LOL, awesome even without the lotto ,
     
  7. 99dragon99

    99dragon99 G&G Evangelist Forum Contributor

    Great letter!

    The matching prank call....

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9p8NljqaK4"]YouTube- WIFE PRANK CALL!!FUNNY AS HELL[/ame]