Engineers Jokes Truisms The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" Leaning The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building. (Wouldn't you expect that from IU?) (IU doesn't have an engineering school; it must have been a Purdue University grad that designed it; revenge for the last Old Oaken Bucket Game loss!) Balls When Development Engineers go out together on a weekend they talk about football. When Middle management are together, they talk about tennis. Top management discusses golf. Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are. How Tall Is That Beer An Engineering Student, a Physics Student, and a Mathematics student were each given $150 dollars and were told to use that money to find out exactly how tall a particular hotel was. All three ran off, extremely keen on how to do this. The physics student went out, purchased some stopwatches, a number of ball bearings, a calculator, and some friends. He had them all time the drop of ball bearings from the roof, and he then figured out the height from the time it took for the bearings to accelerate from rest until they impacted with the sidewalk. The math student waited until the sun was going down, then she took out her protractor, plumb line, measuring tape, and scratch pad, measured the length of the shadow, found the angle the buildings roof made from the ground, and used trigonometry to figure out the height of the building. Of course, with all that was involved in getting this experiment done, they were up plenty late studying for other courses' exams. These two students bumped into the engineering student the next day, who looked quite refreshed. When asked what he did to find the height of the building he replied: "Well, I walked up to the bell hop, gave him 10 bucks, asked him how tall the hotel was, and went inside for happy hour!" Can't Leave Well Enough Alone In a foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are all about to be guillotined. The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens -- he declares that he's been saved by divine intervention -- so he's let go. The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the blade, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and he is set free too. They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Oh, wait a minute, I see your problem......"